X is for the X Factor

I have determined that the letter "x" is stupid. I have racked my brain trying to come up with something clever and witty that begins with "x".

Yeah, no such word exists.

I tried xylophone. Nothing funny about that unless you bash someone you don't like in the head with it...then it's pretty cool.

Next I tried Xanadu. But there is nothing funny about Xanadu. It is a magical place where women (muses) skate around the earth in flowing white dresses inspiring men to achieve their goals and wildest dreams while occasionally bursting into song. You will be happy to know, by the end of the movie, Olivia Newton John's character, Kira (who rocks some sweet feathered hair and schmanzy '70's metallic geisha kimono, much like the one I wear when I get out of the shower) accomplishes her purpose by inspiring Sunny to open the adult disco skating rink he has always dreamed of owning.

And come on, who hasn't spent their whole life dreaming about opening a skating rink for grown-ups? I know when I get together with my friends, they are always commenting on how there is no place for adults to go to skate and really let loose. The rinks around town are flooded with pre-teen and teenage kids that are too young to use fake IDs to get into bars (braces and acne are always dead giveaways to bouncers). If only there was a Sunny around today to open a place where you could drink, skate, fall down and break your neck while your friends point and laugh as they try to figure out who is going to face forward and who is going to skate backward during the "Couples Only Skate."

I contemplated blogging about X-rays. I remembered hearing something about a guy shooting himself in the head with a nail gun, so I googled it. OMG, people! I cannot believe the number of people that have "accidentally" shot themselves in the head with a nail gun, most of which, didn't even know they had done it. Seriously, how do you not know you just shot yourself in the head? Evidently, they hadn't hit any part of the brain they actually used because in each incident the guy would carry on about his day, then end up in the emergency room the next day complaining of a pounding headache.

OK, first, I can't help but notice it usually, no it always seems to be men that do this. Don't these things come with some safety mechanism like a helmet or at least a warning label that reads: DO NOT SHOOT SELF IN HEAD? You know someone brought it up and someone else said, "Come on! It's common sense. No one would be stupid enough to put a nail gun to his head and pull the trigger." Isn't there a minimum IQ you should have to have to operate one in case you have an accident. I mean, let's face it, some people cannot afford to lose any more brain cells.

Next I moved on to the XYZ Affair. I thought GREAT! I can finish my A-Z challenge in one shot. But it was all of this history/bribery/boring French crap and I don't speak French other than Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? And while that might get me laid, it won't make for an interesting post.

I know Xanax! Oh sorry, I didn't mean to write about Xanax. I meant to go take so I can stop stressing over this dumb letter. Yep Xanax will make it all better.

 Gotta say, when it comes to this letter I think I really nailed it;)