C is for Colonoscopy Sweepstakes?

I am really glad my blog is called Seriously WTH? because I swear you can't make this crap up.


About 2 weeks ago, maybe more, maybe less. I have no concept of time. Well, actually I do, it's just my memory that sucks. Anyway, I was watching TV and a commercial with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne came on that went something like this:


"Ozzy? 
Yeah? 
Do you have a secret fantasy? 
Yes. I'd like to fly to New York for a colonoscopy."

Ozzy "The Prince of Darkness" Osbourne
pimping a colonoscopy?

Obviously, I thought I had heard it wrong. Then I saw the commercial again with Ozzy still pining for his fantasy colonoscopy. My first thought was that we, the American people, were getting punked. Well, actually that wasn't my first thought. The first thing that came to mind was, hey,whatever kinky sex thing you want to do in your own bedroom is your business. Whatever turns you on, man. But for the love of God, don't go on National television, talk about it and put that image in my head. 


Once I found out that it was a real honest sweepstakes, I decided I needed to further probe the issue. So I looked into exactly what the prize package was and this is what I found:


"Enter the CBS Cares Colonoscopy Sweepstakes! If you win our grand prize, we'll fly you to New York for three nights in a luxury hotel, watch the sun rise over Central Park, then kick back, relax and enjoy a complimentary colonoscopy! So what are you waiting for? You can't win if you don't enter. Visit cbs cares.tv. CBS cares. Making your fantasies come true."


Seriously?!? Kick back and relax while we shove this thing up your ass? Talk about a sweepstakes I don't want to win.

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne

Now, I appreciate the sentiment. Ozzy encouraged Sharon to have a colonoscopy and that ended up saving her life. I even think it's kind of cool, albeit incredibly odd, that CBS is doing this and calling it a sweepstakes. But what's next a pap smear or  prostate contest? What kind of strange ass sado masochist came up with this idea and what network executive upon hearing it went, "Oh yeah! Dude, that's good. We've got to do that!"


So to those of you that are reading this post and thinking, "Awesome, that's always been my secret fantasy too! I wonder if I could still enter?" Sadly, the answer is no. The contest ended March 31st. And that's too bad, because my guess is there probably weren't many entries and I'm thinking you would've had a pretty good shot at winning. I bet that's a prize that people don't go in on an office pool. How would you split that? 


I have to go see my doctor now. Not for a colonoscopy, but for some type of drug or shock treatment that will get this image of Ozzy and Sharon's colonoscopy bedroom sex romp out of my brain!


Click on this link to view the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvRFRMJff-E


Tomorrow's post: D is for My Drug Addicted Dog.