Yes, I have dated some beauties. Now, in my defense, I didn't know any of this when I started dating these guys. It's not like each was wearing a sign: "Hi my name is Ralph. I'm a Scorpio. I love long walks on the beach and oh yeah, I used to worship the devil." In fact, that guy, in particular had brought me to a Catholic church because, apparently, he had converted back. Turns out having, Satanic beliefs make it hard to pick-up chicks. Who knew?!?
"Like to dress up like a baby and be spanked;"
"It depends on which one of her personalities is out that day;"
It could be used when hiring employees:
"Will take credit for your work;"
"Looks up porn all day...on your computer"
"Already banging the boss"
And it could be applied to possible new friends:
"Will sleep with your boyfriend;"
"Farts and blames it on the dog;"
"Have you seen Single White Female?'
Oooo, and the labels could be different colors:
RED: TOTALLY UNDATEABLE (Equivalent to "Dry Clean Only")
You'll get it, love it the first time you wear it, then you will end up paying for it over and over again until it costs 10x as much as what you initially paid for it.
YELLOW: ON THE BRINK (Equivalent to hand wash separately, lay flat to dry)
Do you really like it because it might be a pain in the ass to maintain?
GREEN: JACKPOT! (Throw it in with anything. It 's fine).
Just don't let this person read your label.
So who's with me on this? I would say lets write our Congressmen and ask them to put it on the ballot, but I have a feeling they would be the last ones that would want to get the Un-dateable/employable/friendable Bill passed. Imagine that label:
Cheats on wife; accepts bribes; still calls his mother "Mommy;" hates dogs; steals from constituents and is a closet cross dresser.
Or it could just read Politician. (Basically the same thing).
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