L is for Life According to Alcohol

Stages of life by alcohol: 

Pre-21 - You know you shouldn't drink but you do anyway (Damn peer pressure). Get drunk off one wine cooler or some Boone's Farm or pretend that you like beer even though you don't yet. Make fun of the people that act like they are drunk when all you really gave them was orange juice and only told them there was Vodka in it but there wasn't. Eat mounds of McDonald's, Burger King or Taco Bell. No hangover.


Young Adult 21+ - Drink way too much, go home, sleep for 12 hours, wake up with no hangover then go out & do it again the next night.

Adult - Have a few drinks, go home, sleep, wake up with a slight hangover, maybe do a shot of what you were drinking the night before (if you can stomach it) to make hangover a little better; 

Adults in Early to Mid-thirties -  Take 2 Advil before you even go out the door. Have a drink or 2, go home, sleep, wake up after 2 hours, drink some Pedilyte, have a pretty decent size hangover, spend the next day taking Advil, drinking Gatorade and laying around; 

Adults 35+ - Drive past a bar or THINK about going to one, have trouble sleeping, wake up with a major hangover, feel like someone hit you with a shovel, can't get off the couch all day. Reminisce about your youth.


Tom Petty once sang:

"I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old." - Last Dance with Mary Jane

Now it's too late for me, but to the rest of you out there, I guess the thing you should take away from this is don't stop drinking because the minute you do, it's all over. 

Gotta go throw up now because apparently now I can get a hangover from just writing about alcohol. So in the words of the great Chevy Chase, "Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?" 

*Remember, if this made you laugh or at least put a smile on your face, please click the the FB or Twitter share tab at the top of my blog. Spread the laughter. Everyone can use a smile. *