tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48841764187821997222024-03-03T19:25:36.503-05:00Shay StoneAuthor Shay Stone discusses everything from dating to Wilford Brimley in this sometimes serious, usually humorous, blog Seriously - WTH?
Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-63758705956748477172019-04-25T12:26:00.000-04:002019-04-25T14:55:27.449-04:00Why Some Ebooks Now Cost $9.99<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The much anticipated release of E.L. James new book <i>The Mister</i>, has many readers' eyes bulging out of their heads, and not because of the subject matter. The gasps came when they saw the $9.99 price of the e-book.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Their cries were heard throughout social media. "Why so much?" they wondered.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">E-book prices used to be substantially lower than paperbacks. While a self-published paperback may cost $9.99 - $12.99, an e-book may roll in around $2.99 - $3.99, with traditional publishers coming in at roughly $13.99 - $15.99 for paperbacks, and somewhere in the $5.99 range for e-books. So why the sudden increase in price?
Well, I don't work in the tradional publishing sector, but let me try to shed some light on the subject and tell you what <i>I</i> think caused the price jump.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Making a book is not cheap and the profit margin is minimal at best. A book - a <i>good</i> book - isn't just written and immediately published. There are several costs involved. Each page has to be edited several times and formatted. Covers cost money. Depending on the designer, there may be a separate charges for e-book cover and the paperback cover.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you use a stock photo, you run the risk of having the same cover as everyone else - something I'm going through now. I get tagged almost every other day in a photo on Facebook showing me another author has used the same photo for their cover. It's beyond frustrating, but that's a post for another time. The only way to avoid that pitfall is to pay a professional photographer, models, etc. to do a personalized cover. Not cheap and certainly not cost effective for most authors.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I asked an author friend to break down the costs of publishing a book. Here's what she said:</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #212121; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">"[It] </span><span style="background-color: white;">Depends on who you use for everything. Full editing, normally will rack out at about $1000 USD. Covers conservatively between $50-150 USD, although I've heard of people paying upwards of 700 for one cover. Marketing is easily your big money pit, costing</span><span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="background-color: white;"> anywhere from free, if you know how, to I would say $200 a month. So, added together, say $1500 as an easy starting number. Average $2 royalties per book on Amazon, and you are talking 750 sold in the first month to break even, with a continuing 100 a month after that, for as long as you keep up marketing." - <i>Kathleen Eyke, author</i></span></span></span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">750 books sold in the first month just to break even! And most authors I know don't make $2.00 a book. Books have to be priced over a certain amount for the author to make a 70% royalty. If it's priced below that, or they forget to check the proper box, an author only receives 30%. (Yes, you have to check a box to receive a higher royalty. No, you can't go back and fix it if you accidentally check the wrong box.)</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now let's talk e-books, break down some platforms, and discuss the problems with them.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">People love e-books, and rightly so. They're cheaper, take up less room in the house, and they are delivered immediately. <i>Let's hear it for</i> <i>instant gratification! Woo-Hoo!</i> But e-books are more easily pirated.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Think about it. The people that pirate books are not going to take the time to retype an entire manuscript. But they will take a few minutes to upload a computer file if they can get their hands on it. That means the material has been stolen and the author and publisher are getting paid <b><i>nothing</i></b> for their work.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">On to free book sites - Who doesn't want free books? The sites that offer them are a great way for new authors to get their names out there. An author may put one of their books on the site, permanently or temporarily, in an effort to reach new readers. The hope is that once a readers discover you, they'll become a fan and seek out other books and buy new releases.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But not only are these books often pirated, many people that download books from these sites usually won't consider paying for a book when there are so many - good or bad - available for free. They seem personally offended if an author wants to charge for a book. A book the author has worked 4-8 hours a day on every day, usually for six months to a year. Now add in all the costs mentioned above and essentially, the reader is asking the author to pay to have their book read. Imagine going into your work, busting your butt all day, only to have your bosses come to you at the end of the week demanding you pay them for being there. It wouldn't fly. Employees would feel unappreciated and walk out. Just like some great writers quit publishing. The thought being, why bother? </span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now let's talk Kindle Unlimited. It's great for the reader, giving them the option to download tons of books for a monthly subscription. So they click on any book that might interest them, stockpiling each one on their Kindle, where they collect virtual dust.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Before, if consumers purchased a book, publishers and authors received royalties even if that book sat on someone's shelf or e-reader for years. With KU, authors and publishers are paid per page read. If a reader doesn't swipe each page individually, the author doesn't get paid.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And Kindle Unlimited requires KDP Select exclusivity. What's that you ask? It means the author cannot sell on any other platforms. No Kobo, Apple, Barnes and Noble, or any other market that caters to other e-reading devices, severely limiting the audience and potential profits.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So why offer books on Kindle Unlimited? Because it is extremely popular and is a great place to create buzz for a novel. But, much like the individuals loyal to free sites, some people won't consider picking up a book that isn't available on KU. Authors and publishers are left shrugging saying, "Some profit is better than no profit."</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Are you starting to see why publishers are raising costs? And we haven't really touched on the cost of ads, trailers, book teasers or anything else which can cost thousands. Once a publisher distributes the agent their well-deserved commission and any royalties to the author, recoups expenses associated with the book, and pays their employees and the utilities necessary to operate a business, it's a wonder traditional publishers are still around. Prices are rising because publishers are desperately trying to find a way to bring quality material to readers and stay afloat doing it.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They're averaging down their costs on books of lesser known authors that may take longer to turn a profit by raising the price on books written by top authors with guaranteed sales. It's the only way they can subsidize their costs and continue to take chances on new authors hoping to bring readers the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And while you most likely won't see an e-book by an indie author coming in at $9.99, it's not because we don't think our books aren't worth that price It's because we can't compete if we do. Most indie authors don't make a dime. We publish books because we love to write. Yes, we want to make it big and have our books reach millions. But until we're backed by one of the Big 5, chances are, we're not going to be able to afford to write full-time for a living.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most indie authors I know work one or two jobs and sacrifice any free time - dinner with friends, Netflix binges with the hubby, and downtime in general to be able get their words to you. I've seen estimates claiming most indie authors are lucky if they sell 250 books per release. You now know, that doesn't even come close to the amount it costs to publish a book.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Instead of vacations on beaches, they pay to attend cons. Yes, you read that correctly. If you see an author at a book con or signing, know <i>they</i> paid to be there. That money comes out of their pocket, as does any swag they provide. Authors attend cons and signings to interact with loyal fans and hopefully pick up some new ones that will also love their stories and follow their careers.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Turning a profit is a dream for a self-published author and a necessity for a traditional publishing company. I'm not defending high book costs, but if traditional publishers don't find a way to make more money, they aren't going to survive.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know there are a lot of bad books out there and I understand readers don't want to pay for something they may hate filled with one-dimensional characters and plot holes. That's why they</span> <i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">should</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> feel comfortable paying a little more for a book knowing it has gone through the proper channels to be edited and formatted properly. You're paying for the blood, sweat, and tears (and possibly the psychiatric meds) of the author that writes 6-8 hours a day and is not getting paid an hourly wage to do it; you're paying for professionalism and the countless hours and manpower it takes to make a book come together; you're paying to escape reality for a while and be transported into another world.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most people are willing to pay upwards of $4 for a cup of coffee from Starbucks because they know they will be getting something better than they can make at home or be served in a diner. That's what you're paying for with a good book - Quality (editing). Atmosphere (formatting and cover design). Entertainment (the author's ideas and prose). If you would rather read compelling novels with seemless plotlines, characters you feel connected to, and exceptional storylines instead of books laden with errors, plot holes, and sub-par writing, you have to reward the authors and the publishers that bring them to you.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I'm not saying the price hike is right or wrong, but I hope this fosters a better understanding between the readers and the industry. If you are a fan of good books and support our writing community, please know that we appreciate you. We aren't looking to gouge anyone. We're just trying to make enough to keep doing what were doing and bring you books you'll love.</span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Please click on the links below to check out my books <i>The Rise to Fame</i> and <i>The Cost of Fame.</i></span></pre>
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<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>The Rise to Fame</b></span></pre>
<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FFFK1GZ" target="_blank"><b>CLICK HERE for Kindle or Paperback </b></a></span></pre>
<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK" target="_blank">CLICK HERE for Kobo, Apple, and other e-reading devices</a>
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<b>The Cost of Fame</b></span></pre>
<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FDM1136/ref=series_rw_dp_sw" target="_blank">CLICK HERE for Kindle and Paperback</a></b></span></pre>
<pre style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #212121; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap !important;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://books2read.com/u/bP58YA" target="_blank"><b>CLICK HERE for Kobo, Apple, and other e-reading devices</b></a></span></pre>
Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-2554679139789812452018-12-06T18:08:00.000-05:002018-12-06T23:23:21.109-05:00Why Sometimes I Write Insta-Love and will Never Guarantee a Happily-Ever-AfterInsta-love.<br />
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People either love it or hate it. Some people curl their nose up at the very thought of it and will refuse to read a book if it involves that storyline So why do I still write it sometimes?<br />
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Well, I'll tell you, my friends. Because it happens.<br />
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We all know or have heard of those couples that say when they met their true love, they "just knew." Hell, when my mom met my dad at a friend's house, the second he walked out the door she looked at her friend and said, "That's the man I'm going to marry." They were married after 12 dates and just celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary.<br />
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Now, I'll admit, I don't believe in love at first sight. Like a lot of people, I believe you can't truly <i>love</i> someone until you get to know them - their strengths, their weaknesses, their quirks, their flaws, the annoying way they leave their socks everywhere after you just cleaned the house. How they handle a crisis. The way they support you or let you support them when it is most needed.<br />
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But I do believe you can have a connection with someone almost immediately. I believe it because I can attest to it firsthand. Most of the people I've dated, I've had that connection. But some people haven't. They've never been blindsided like that. Their love affairs developed over months or years. Sometimes from friendship. Other times from working together and growing close. Everyone's story is unique. That's what makes them great. How boring would it be if every love story you read or movie you watched was the same? It might be fine the first few times, but then my guess is, it'd get pretty boring.<br />
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When I write, I listen to my characters and let them tell me their story. If my main male character hasn't had a great family life, he may be more eager to find or create a family of his own and therefore, be more apt to fall in love quicker than the average person. The same can be said if my female MC was dating someone, thinking marriage was on the table, and then had a sudden break-up. While some women need time to get over the last love or may vow to never date again, others are in that "relationship place." They may realize the person they were with wasn't right, but may still fear not finding someone so they may jump into the next relationship with both feet. It all depends on the person.<br />
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Often times, what may seem like insta-love, even while you're reading it, is really a visceral attraction, coupled with a strong connection between two people. We all have those people we met and have just gelled with - maybe it's a lover, maybe it's a co-worker, or maybe it's your best friend. And while the character may mistake those feelings for true love, most of the time they are basing it on intense emotions, believing that person will somehow become important to them. The love they feel so quickly isn't <i>actual </i>love, but more the acknowledgment that one day they could see themselves <i>falling</i> in love with someone.<br />
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At least that's usually the case with my characters, even if they don't know it.<br />
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With every character I write, I take every last detail of their life into account and develop their story accordingly. How they grew up, who their friends are, what types of relationships they were surrounded by, the kind of upbringing they had, their job, any other outside factors, and of course, their own hang-ups and insecurities determine their relationships. This may lead to insta-love or it may have my character erecting a ton of walls, terrified of love.<br />
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I think it is a writer's job to tell a story in the most realistic way possible. Which leads me to why I won't guarantee a happily-ever-after. Yes, I love them. Yes, I want them. But, in life, we don't always get<span style="background-color: white;"> them</span>. If every story I penned was written with the goal of delivering a happy ending, my stories would be skewed. To write the best stories for my reader, I have to ask myself, what feels the most realistic and let the characters and story dictate where they go.<br />
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It also keeps people on their toes, which is something I love doing. It stops the story from becoming too predictable. If you know how something is going to end, you start envisioning how the writer will take you there. If you have no clue, it forces you to sit back and enjoy the ride and the world the author has created.<br />
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The two greatest compliments I have received as an author are 1) Being told my characters are so realistic, it feels like they are in the room with you or you're watching the scene play out in front of you. The other is being told my books transcend genres. And the reason I'm convinced I achieved that, at least according to this person, is because I listen to my characters and make no guarantees.<br />
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Well, that's not true. I'll make one guarantee. I promise if you give any of my books a try, you're in for one hell of a ride.<br />
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Please be sure to check out my books <i>The Rise to Fame</i> and <i>The Cost of Fame</i>, available on Amazon and other online retailers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Fame-Book-ebook/dp/B07FFFK1GZ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1533947450&sr=8-1&keywords=the+rise+to+fame+by+shay+stone" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">CLICK HERE to purchase</span></a></td></tr>
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<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-36736124467727887012018-11-15T11:37:00.000-05:002018-11-15T15:46:24.449-05:00Fifty Shades of Embarrassment <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
The holiday season is upon us! With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I can almost feel the nervous anxiety - did I say anxiety? I meant excitement - you have trying to get the shopping done, the house cleaned, the cooking prepped and of course, preparing for the family to come. Some members you can't wait to see. Others, you've probably had to make an extra run to the liquor store just to make sure you'll get through the day.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWOtv1usxKBTWRJB1PcRtkIMiAM6vB_TN2Im7ifJejHOyc38wxuPZNhp9f_b08pk0B1wNbQhQ2JkXoevZpv2QaTYUG41B7nPeNAxoJDCcioNwJwDB38kDn9Ks9j0AqDaE2zQ6f_ZhZQ3LK/s1600/thanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="340" data-original-width="224" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWOtv1usxKBTWRJB1PcRtkIMiAM6vB_TN2Im7ifJejHOyc38wxuPZNhp9f_b08pk0B1wNbQhQ2JkXoevZpv2QaTYUG41B7nPeNAxoJDCcioNwJwDB38kDn9Ks9j0AqDaE2zQ6f_ZhZQ3LK/s200/thanksgiving.jpg" width="131" /></a></div>
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Let's face it. We love our families, but sometimes these get-togethers can be trying. Your mom may criticize your cooking techniques because they differ from hers; your uncle may get drunk, and relay stories from your youth that you'd rather forget, or if your sister is anything like mine, she may ask you about the <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i> trilogy in front of your mother.</div>
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Oh yeah, she went there. Hang on... it gets worse.</div>
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To say my mother is a <i>kind of</i> a prude would be like saying the pope is <i>kind of</i> Catholic. She takes the word "prude" to a whole other level. If Mother Theresa was still alive and met my mother, I am certain she would spend five minutes with her and say, "Woman, you need to lighten up." To this day, I'm not convinced I wasn't left on the doorstep by a stork or the product of Immaculate Conception.</div>
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Growing up, we were taught sex was bad and dirty, and sure as hell wasn't something women should enjoy. My puritanical upbringing is part of why I include sex in my books, but that's another blog. So imagine my surprise when my older sister, also quite vanilla, brought up <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>.</div>
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Yep, I almost fell out of the damn chair.</div>
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Allow me to set the scene for you. I'm writing it in first person present to give you the full effect. We've just finished dessert. The men are parked in front of the television watching the game in a turkey coma (thank God!). My mom is sitting next to me still picking at her pumpkin pie, and my sister is across from me when she utters these fateful words, "Have you read the Fifty Shades of Grey books?"</div>
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My head snaps up and I glare at her having an intense nonverbal conversation. "<i>Really? Mom's not invisible, right? You can see she is sitting right here.</i>" My sister appears completely oblivious to my silent chasting. I feel the weight of their eyes on me, waiting for my response. "No. I started it, but couldn't really get into it. Christian Grey was a bit too controlling and stalkerish for me."</div>
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"So you don't know anything about it?" my sister presses for some reason.</div>
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"I know some stuff. I mean, I've got the gist of what it's about."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdfb9L0JCMfRLEnJcPjUv9HK2mG1o4Q_6qr6MShUkOLE9Xnk0cushJau3eTa0ON6AmiT8J7uS7w3V5WyCC3ODQ516pUyZEgRF4xknBe91vYaJVSrig8P7mwwQOhChGc-KAVigZlKn1jVk/s1600/handcuffs-2773818__340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="340" data-original-width="518" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdfb9L0JCMfRLEnJcPjUv9HK2mG1o4Q_6qr6MShUkOLE9Xnk0cushJau3eTa0ON6AmiT8J7uS7w3V5WyCC3ODQ516pUyZEgRF4xknBe91vYaJVSrig8P7mwwQOhChGc-KAVigZlKn1jVk/s200/handcuffs-2773818__340.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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"What's Fifty Shades?" my mom joins in beaming with curiosity. I stare at my coffee wishing I'd opted to add some Bailey's or Kahlua, or, given the situation, some 151.</div>
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"It's a book about sex," I say flatly, hoping it will be the end of it. My mom shifts in her chair as I rack my brain searching for another subject to bring up. Any subject. But I can't focus because my sister has that look on her face. The one that tells me she is going to say something without thinking.</div>
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"It's really popular," she says. "He has a special room he calls a "<i>Red Room</i>" and he wants her to sign a contract."</div>
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"A contract?" Mom asks. "For what? To work for him?"</div>
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"No... for sex stuff."</div>
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My mom squinches her face in disgust. "Sex stuff? Why would she have to sign a contract for that?"</div>
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<i>And here we go...</i></div>
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"Because it's not standard stuff. It's..." My sister titters awkwardly beginning to realize the subject matter she's brought up. She looks to me for help, but I have nothing to offer since I haven't read the book yet and know nothing about this contract or what's on it. And, to be honest, I'm enjoying watching her dig herself deeper into this hole. "..it's... I can't even tell you because I didn't know what half of it was. I had to google it. Some of it I still don't understand. I have no idea what a frogger is."</div>
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"Flogger," I correct before I can think better of it.</div>
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"Fogger?" my mom repeats.</div>
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"FL-ogger." They both sit forward in their chairs waiting for me to elaborate since it's clear I know what it is. So I do the only thing I can. I explain what a flogger is and why someone would use one. They're both glaring at me like, well like I just told them what a flogger was.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4kOSji2i8kZwYQfegKsv2jjIE508EML3Tc5WhyAymtFTqEIcM5CirwiXMhsLV5Y9tpiHMKJ5fa1twy-uDRPfJ9g4QCmVk7es1uXDr3AiLGvc1Ucn5QQBEseLjKIDIhOuLFfpy5tpOp94W/s1600/sex-2398037__340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="340" data-original-width="751" height="90" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4kOSji2i8kZwYQfegKsv2jjIE508EML3Tc5WhyAymtFTqEIcM5CirwiXMhsLV5Y9tpiHMKJ5fa1twy-uDRPfJ9g4QCmVk7es1uXDr3AiLGvc1Ucn5QQBEseLjKIDIhOuLFfpy5tpOp94W/s200/sex-2398037__340.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Okay, technically this is a riding crop.</td></tr>
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And that's when my sister says, "Do you know what fisting is?"</div>
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"Fisting? What's fisting?" my mom asks. Yes, <i>my mother</i> just asked me about <i>fisting</i>. I eye the knife on my plate debating whether I should stab myself or my sister with it. Everything in me tells me I should use it on my sister, but then I'll be left to clean up the bloody mess and when that's through, I'll still have to explain fisting to my mother, and presumably a jury of my peers. Just when I think this conversation can't get any worse, my mom turns to me and says, "Do you know what it is? Tell me."</div>
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While I plot my sister's painful death, I debate my options: 1) Explain fisting to my mother and sister; 2) Wait in horror, knowing my sister will pull it up on her phone and then we'll have to sit around her tiny screening watching an example of fisting like some perverted family you'd see on Jerry Springer.<br />
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I push out a breath. "Fisting is when a guy takes his entire hand and shoves it..." I explain it as clinically as possible. Like I'm giving a lecture or reading from a textbook.</div>
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My sister howls with embarrassed laughter. My mom crinkles her nose, pursing her lips. "That's disgusting. Why would anyone ever do something like that? And you know about this?"</div>
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I shrug. </div>
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"I want to know how you know," my mom demands probably trying to figure out exactly how many <i>Our Fathers</i> and <i>Hail Marys</i> she's going to have to say to save my perverted soul.</div>
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"You know I grew up with and still have a lot of guy friends. They always treated me like one of the guys and didn't censor themselves."</div>
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"I can't believe you know about that kind of stuff." She shakes her head with disappointment. "And someone wrote about this in a book you read?"</div>
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"Not me. Her." I point to my sister eager to throw my mom's scrutiny elsewhere. My sister's eyes grow large enough to eclipse her entire face. </div>
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"I... I didn't know what it was about when I started it," she stammers. "Someone told me to read it. I didn't know anything about floggers or fisting... or butt plugs."</div>
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My mom's face pinches, twisting toward the apparent sexual deviant in the room. "What's a butt plug?"</div>
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KILL. ME. NOW. </div>
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**If you haven't signed up for my newsletter, click below to sign up today and you'll receive an excerpt from my book, <i>The Rise to Fame</i>. <a href="http://eepurl.com/dD_2yr" target="_blank">CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER</a></div>
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Don't forget to check out my steamy, angst-filled contemporary romance <i>The Fame Series</i>. These books make great Christmas gifts for the reader in your life.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoOSwNWxky9AdKYIiHIak6WSK-rciHE8qdr5Qnb_RpcI2-zWCU1OtbHZj8A8b5F_s5YWAzaeWNdjr1_tX9M0tQtoccoDanVow8QFG5peo4t8lq6mvDiZuu6MDo_N1-R9vgFzYOWJDjCtOQ/s1600/Copy+of+The+Fame+Series.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="940" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoOSwNWxky9AdKYIiHIak6WSK-rciHE8qdr5Qnb_RpcI2-zWCU1OtbHZj8A8b5F_s5YWAzaeWNdjr1_tX9M0tQtoccoDanVow8QFG5peo4t8lq6mvDiZuu6MDo_N1-R9vgFzYOWJDjCtOQ/s320/Copy+of+The+Fame+Series.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: medium; text-align: center;">
Book One: The Rise to Fame</div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Fame-1/dp/1719448019/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=" target="_blank">CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE BOOK ONE: THE RISE TO FAME</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cost-Fame-2/dp/1725788039/ref=pd_sbs_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1725788039&pd_rd_r=9e243582-e8f3-11e8-b188-2fb63616cf11&pd_rd_w=UKX9c&pd_rd_wg=PzyKc&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=7d5d9c3c-5e01-44ac-97fd-261afd40b865&pf_rd_r=2TT1RNH9V9MAD77T6BYY&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=2TT1RNH9V9MAD77T6BYY" target="_blank">CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE BOOK TWO: THE COST OF FAME</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy Thanksgiving!🦃</span></div>
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<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-57294644206544269972018-11-13T12:27:00.000-05:002018-11-13T14:42:01.456-05:00Hurts So Good: What Happened When I Tried Cupping TherapySo apparently I'm a closet masochist because over the weekend I decided to try cupping. What is cupping you ask? It's a type of therapy where cups are placed in strategic places on your body, in my case my back, shoulders, and neck, and suction is used to create negative energy. This is in contrast to the positive energy used in standard massage techniques.<br />
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While cupping has been around for years - it was used regularly in ancient Chinese medicine - it has seen a rise in interest, becoming more popular after Gwenyth Paltrow donned perfect red circles on her back during a red carpet event. It garnered more interest when Michael Phelps showed up to the Olympic meets with the nasty marks.<br />
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So what does it do? The cups create suction that allows blood to get into tight muscles by loosening them and encouraging blood flow. Some say it can sedate the nervous system to help with depression and anxiety. Others praise it for its ability to draw out toxins that may have been lying dormant in muscles for years. It is touted for helping everything from migraines to rheumatism.<br />
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Okay, brace yourself, because here come the pictures.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMCd4isbnQ_RVir1-qOumu9o4mh14AxltbwVWBGcqj8o_KvhlaJbF2kymAEzY9iSRSJLDadsaECSpF5JE-5ZSf9UGK2NM7-1MLpvYosaGjcrsfBkeuO9WcYqBxNCoARv1B1F-7BspS-yg/s1600/cupping3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="360" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaMCd4isbnQ_RVir1-qOumu9o4mh14AxltbwVWBGcqj8o_KvhlaJbF2kymAEzY9iSRSJLDadsaECSpF5JE-5ZSf9UGK2NM7-1MLpvYosaGjcrsfBkeuO9WcYqBxNCoARv1B1F-7BspS-yg/s320/cupping3.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, that's my skin drawn up into those glass cups!</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVpbYGnSdK3drDl49RX8JLskDiE40nrFra9NIP5hPZ05veFzhheqvPOCK6r6kBFj3xjojaNdOQZRVoyjA8tYG8L3dPtc2CdN3D10rrtJDwWCk56PWj-Wz05AvVEwUn5cvCNtla9h_Wuza/s1600/cupping+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="360" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVpbYGnSdK3drDl49RX8JLskDiE40nrFra9NIP5hPZ05veFzhheqvPOCK6r6kBFj3xjojaNdOQZRVoyjA8tYG8L3dPtc2CdN3D10rrtJDwWCk56PWj-Wz05AvVEwUn5cvCNtla9h_Wuza/s320/cupping+4.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See those marks? Just wait. That's nothing.</td></tr>
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I know what you're thinking, "<i>Holy crap! Shay why on earth would you try something like that?</i>"<br />
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Well, my little reader friends, I did it for the same reason you entertain doing many crazy things in life - I was desperate. For over a month, I had some muscles and trigger points that would not break no matter what I did. They were giving me a nonstop migraine and I felt like my right eye was going to pop out of my head, ala Glenn from The Walking Dead. I was even forced to eat soft foods because the muscle in my jaw was so tight, anything aggravated it. I tried deep tissue and trigger point massage therapy, a different version of cupping massage where they drag the cups over your skin (this did absolutely nothing), and chiropractic treatment. Nothing helped.<br />
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Two different massage therapists recommended I try cupping to "break the muscles," so I figured what the hell? I did my research, talked to a friend that has cupping done regularly, and scheduled the appointment. I'll admit, I was a little nervous.<br />
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It started off like any other massage. We chatted for a bit about what areas were bothering me, and then I got under the blanket half-naked and he warmed up the muscles with a regular massage. After a few minutes, he put the first cup on. He explained that depending on my pain tolerance, he could use 1-5 pumps. Obviously the more pumps, the more negative pressure on the muscle.<br />
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The first and second pump felt like nothing. The third I felt a little pressure. The fourth a lot of pressure. But I wasn't here to mess around. I knew I had some crap that needed to be broken up, so being the she-woman I am, I went for the full five pumps. That's right, I am woman... hear me roar! Or in this case, whimper because that son of a b*%ch hurt.<br />
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To be fair, the first cup and two others hurt way more than the rest. I went 5 pumps across the board and after all was said and done, had fifteen cups total done that day. He focused on my rights side first, leaving the cups on for approximately 7 minutes. The left side was next. He placed the cups in position then massaged the right side while the other cups did their job. It's my understanding that normally they don't do that, but he said my muscles and triggers were so tight he feared I wasn't going to experience the relief I should.<br />
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After the skin on my back was covered in a smattering of polka dots, we moved to the front where he focused on my neck and shoulders. By the end, I looked like I had stood in front of one of those auto-pitch machines and let myself get pummeled with baseballs, and it kind of felt like it too. Although, again, to be fair, part of that was my choice because I chose five pumps. Presumably, if I had elected for fewer pumps they wouldn't have been as bad.<br />
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I went home and didn't do anything other than some writing. You're not supposed to workout or do engage in strenuous activity. I'm not sure if that has to do with healing or the very real possibility that the gym members may run out screaming, fearing you have contracted some crazy polka dot flesh-eating virus that will eventually turn you into a zombie. Okay, maybe I've seen one too many sci-fi movies.<br />
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They say the degree of bruising varies from person to person. If your bruises are dark it could mean you had more toxins or lactic acid trapped in the muscles. Two days later, and most of mine were a sexy shade of black and purple (see below). One or two were still pretty sore, and according to the masseuse, I have a very high pain tolerance, so that's saying something. The rest felt almost like I had a minor sunburn. Nothing was too uncomfortable and didn't disrupt my sleep, although I did feel those two spots I mentioned when I moved certain ways.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW6dhZLdA5W8yWtfru64awiP5RQIUC66OkLy1Ne-K7cTPt75ZEaP79qgOOHmVG0gb9gSRxn1SGBgFYnQFXILyClmcm51QdYoIbb4s9wF-7PfjZ9ayoY7Gtt_tO_H7U8oey0Bxg_-9cmTJ7/s1600/cupping5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1115" data-original-width="905" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW6dhZLdA5W8yWtfru64awiP5RQIUC66OkLy1Ne-K7cTPt75ZEaP79qgOOHmVG0gb9gSRxn1SGBgFYnQFXILyClmcm51QdYoIbb4s9wF-7PfjZ9ayoY7Gtt_tO_H7U8oey0Bxg_-9cmTJ7/s320/cupping5.jpg" width="259" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clearly, I thought, <i>how can I make myself less dateable</i>?</td></tr>
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<i>So did it work?</i><br />
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The jury is still out on that. I think so. My muscles definitely released more than they did with the regular massage. I also noticed tiny, I'm going to call them calcium deposits, rising up in some of the bruises, which I thought was weird, but kind of cool if it was broken up from the therapy. I feel today, four days later, I'm still experiencing the benefits.<br />
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<i>Would I do it again?</i><br />
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Sure, although not in the summer when bathing suits and tank tops might be worn. I would be curious to see how I felt after a couple of sessions and if the bruises would be lighter after subsequent treatments, assuming there would be fewer toxins and lactic acid build up in the muscles. I still favor deep tissue massage over anything else, but this definitely served as a springboard to help break up those knots.<br />
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*** Please note: People with certain conditions should not have cupping done. Check with your doctor before having the procedure. ***<br />
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Don't forget to follow me on FB, Twitter, and Instagram. And be sure to click the links below to check out my steamy, angst-filled contemporary romance duet: <i>The Rise to Fame</i> and <i>The Cost of Fame</i> available on Amazon and other online retailers.<br />
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<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-5525355570032526062018-10-25T12:07:00.000-04:002018-10-25T17:29:38.948-04:00How to Review an Indie Author<div style="text-align: justify;">
What's the first thing you do when you're online debating about purchasing a new product or visiting a restaurant? Check the reviews. 5 - Stars? <i>Awesome! It should be good.</i> 1 star? <i>Forget it. I'm not wasting my money.</i></div>
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And that's totally understandable. You work hard for your money. So, of course, you do your research to make sure you're getting the most bang for your buck. Vandasta.com reports more than 88% of consumers incorporate reviews into their purchasing decision. But did you know it's estimated that only 1-3% of readers leave reviews?</div>
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<i>(Okay, side note: If you don't want to read anything else on this page, please at least skip to the part about the stars.)</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiac6C-YPrQ6X_HQbIMZH3Gdf4l_2uZ_zk63SJqTfmVQ6PCt1Lt5YXwnPkFlshPm8jzzhlR0RtKRvlb64vU2GLbhn9uQDt-9FipTA_tibwsI9qQm9aadQtkBBNJdMI9iMFHs4vjhYXmtHcO/s1600/book+review.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiac6C-YPrQ6X_HQbIMZH3Gdf4l_2uZ_zk63SJqTfmVQ6PCt1Lt5YXwnPkFlshPm8jzzhlR0RtKRvlb64vU2GLbhn9uQDt-9FipTA_tibwsI9qQm9aadQtkBBNJdMI9iMFHs4vjhYXmtHcO/s1600/book+review.jpg" /></a></div>
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Now you need to know I am over the moon if you choose to spend your money on one of my books. And you are under no obligation to leave me a review. But I can't tell you how much it makes my little author heart soar when you do. So much in our community is based on them. Approximately 600,000 - 1 million books are published every year. And today, many agents and publishers won't even look at your work until there is some kind of buzz about it. That's where you come in.</div>
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Authors can talk about their books until they're blue in the face. We love them. They're our babies. But at the end of the day, would you put more stock in hearing how awesome my book is from me, the person that spent months writing it and has everything on the line, or a person that has nothing at stake and is completely unbiased? <i>Exactly</i>.</div>
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People ask me all the time, "How do I leave a review?" Somewhere, in the back of their minds, they intimidate themselves into thinking the review needs to sound like it came from Hemingway. But you need to know, <i>no one </i>expects that from you. I always tell them to be honest and maybe mention the characters or something specific about the book so Amazon knows it's a legit review. It's that simple.</div>
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<b>STARS</b> ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐</div>
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Now I want to talk to you about stars. This is a big one because it's one of the first things people see when they go to Amazon or GoodReads. As a writer, I'm trying to put out the best book I possibly can so I'm always striving for 5-stars. Of course, that doesn't always happen.</div>
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I'll admit. I'm a perfectionist (I know, I'm in the wrong business for that). One of the most frustrating things and something you just have to get used to when you're an author is wondering why someone will leave you an absolutely <i>amazing</i> review, but still only give you 4 stars. While I am beyond appreciative of the review and hope others will take the time to read it, my mind torments me. Was it my writing? My characters? Typos?</div>
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It's not like when you're in school and the teacher hands you back your paper with little notes saying why you got the grade you did. Author etiquette says I can't ask. So I'm left wondering what I did wrong. And it sucks because all I want to do is find out so I can fix it and deliver a better story next time. I try to keep in mind everyone has different taste. Some people love Stephen King. Some people hate him. Some people love sweet historical romance while others prefer dark contemporary ones.</div>
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There's no telling what someone's criteria may be for reviewing a book. I can only tell you what I take into account:</div>
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1) Does it look professional? Is the cover nice? Is everything formatted properly? (Although I tend to give a little leeway on e-reader formatting because sometimes, it doesn't seem to matter what you do, e-readers still show extra spaces even if they're not in your manuscript. Grrrr)<br />
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2) Were there a ton of grammatical errors and typos? (Keep in mind even well-edited books may contain errors. A book is still considered <i>perfect</i> if it has one error or less every 10k words)</div>
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3) Were there plot holes and was the story consistent? Does the author talk about the main character driving a red Ford F150 on page 100 and then on page 105 that truck is now blue with no explanation as to why?;</div>
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4) Did it hold my interest? Was it a real page turner or did I struggle to finish it?;</div>
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5) Were the characters and their emotions believable? Even if it's not the way I would have acted in a situation, given the character's background, could I see them behaving that way?</div>
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6) Would I recommend it to a friend?</div>
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While we all strive for it, most authors are not going to write a<i> To Kill a Mockingbird.</i> In my opinion, those books are rarities that even those authors tend to achieve only once-in-a-lifetime and should receive some special 6-star rating. But just because someone doesn't write an "instant classic" doesn't mean they aren't a fantastic writer or won't become one and write that legendary book someday.</div>
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Reviews are subjective. There are people that give 5 stars to everything and other people that only give 5 stars to specific genres or are waiting for the next <i>Gone with the Wind</i> or <i>The</i> <i>Tell Tale Heart,</i> and refuse to give 5 stars to anything less. And while that might be fine for best-selling authors that have thousands of reviews, let me tell you how that can actually hurt an Indie author.</div>
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Being an Indie author, I can tell you firsthand we're always trying to build a following, get our name out there, and get noticed by agents and publishers. Even a lot of bloggers will check previous reviews before they'll consider reviewing a new author. And that's understandable. They get flooded with queries and requests and want to focus their attention on something that could go somewhere and make them a profit. Again, this is why reviews are so important.</div>
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Here is where things get complicated. I have seen and heard someone rave about a book and give it 1 star because it had the f-word or c-word in it. Other books give warnings to the reader in advance about graphic content or triggers at the beginning of a book, yet a reader will still give it 1 or 2 stars because it had sex or violence in it. And then there are the revenge reviews. Those are the ones that someone writes with the sole purpose of tanking an author's rating. Yep, I'm sorry to say, but that really happens. You never know what is going to make someone give a bad review.</div>
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While those reviews may sting for someone like J.K. Rowling or Sylvia Day, because they have a plethora of fans and receive thousands of reviews, their rating probably won't be affected. But for an Indie author that struggles to get every review they can, a rating like that can be devastating, taking their 5-star rating to 3 stars in a flash. </div>
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That's why I, <i>personally</i>, rate Indie authors a little different. It's not about going easy on them; it's about considering their numbers. I tend to think of it this way. If I told all the fans of the best star high school quarterback to go out and buy his jersey, and then told all of Tom Brady's fans to go out and by Tom's jersey, who would sell more jerseys? Tom, obviously. Does that mean the high school kid is no good and won't become the next Tom Brady someday? No. It just means he's fresh out the gate and doesn't have the fan base to compete with Tom's numbers yet. But that's me. I like an underdog and tend to root for them and want to give them encouragement, hoping someday they get that fan base and can compete with the Tom Bradys of the world. If I'm honest, it's because it will make for a better game for me as a spectator.<br />
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But some people do the exact opposite and are harder on Indie authors, using the mindset they're preparing the writer to compete with the literary greats. The big dogs. And that's their right.<br />
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And while I don't go throwing around 5-star ratings like Willy Wonka throws around candy, I do try to be thoughtful in my reviews and remind myself that Indie authors don't have the backing of multi-million dollar publishers with the best editors and advertising teams in the business. That's not to say their books shouldn't still be edited and look professional. But I may cut them a little more slack than one error every 10k words. But again, that's just me. And if I have reservations about awarding higher star counts, I ask myself why? Is it because it's not my normal genre? If I think that's a factor, I try to consider what readers in that genre would want in a story and determine if those needs were met. </div>
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Do I wish I could give half stars and award it 4.5, but that's not an option? Then I ask myself if I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to someone else. If the answer is yes, I may level up instead of down.</div>
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Some people aren't a fan of particular plotlines. For illustrative purposes, let's say I'm not a fan of cheating. Instead of basing my star rating solely on the fact that I don't like books that contain cheating, I try to keep in mind that others may. So instead of giving it a low star rating, I take into account the story, character development, and whether it was done well, and then maybe mention in the review that if you aren't a fan of cheating, you may not like this book. But I try not to let it affect the overall star rating. Personally, I tend to refrain from giving 1- star ratings. If I see one, I assume the book was poorly edited, the plot had holes, and the characters were unlikable or didn't seem realistic.</div>
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In the end, it doesn't matter what I take into account when I write my reviews. You have the right to write any kind of review you choose. Authors are notoriously insecure about their work and always questioning their talent, but no author wants stars they didn't earn. I speak from experience when I say, every review I receive propels me to write and deliver the best book I can. And I will continue to do that no matter how many stars you give me. You are helping me live my dream. And for that, I give you 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.</div>
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<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-16489870565346168682018-09-26T07:00:00.000-04:002018-09-26T07:00:00.496-04:00Author to Author: J.M Davies Discusses Revenge of the Witch<div style="background: rgb(252, 252, 252); color: #212121; margin: 0in 0in 0.2in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hey there my little bibliophiles! This week we're going to do things a little bit different because, well I have the flu and I'm not filming myself. This week I am excited to introduce you to J.M. Davies, and her latest release <i>Revenge of The Witch</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">First, let's get to know Jennifer. I asked her three questions:</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </b>What got you into writing?</div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">J.M. Davies:</b> "I was actually going through some deep emotional stuff at the time. I had left my family back in Wales and found myself returning to the States for the second time. As I sat in my new home with my kids and husband thinking of all I had left behind, the character of Mia Childs was created. She was my first protagonist in my first YA fantasy novel, <i>The Promise</i>. I had never written a book before but penned that story in several notebooks inside 4 months. I eventually moved onto the computer, much quicker! But, it took me four years to re-write, edit and get it published, but I did it. From that moment on writing has become one of my greatest loves."<b> </b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</b> Who is your favorite author in your genre? </div>
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<b>J.M. Davies</b><b>:</b><b> </b>"Yikes, that is hard. I love so many. One that always sticks out for me is Deborah Harkness and her All Souls trilogy. Just talking about her makes me want to go back and pick up her books to read. I love her writing. In fact, as I write this, I’m reminded of a quote by Author J. K. Rowling. “I don’t believe in the kind of magic in my books. But I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book.”<b> </b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</b> How did you create the character of Ella Masters in <i>The Rise of Orion </i>series? </div>
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<b>J.M. Davies:</b><b> </b>"I knew when I started to think about creating my first paranormal adult romance, I wanted my character to be a witch, but not in the traditional way. Then, I had this idea that transformed the entire story. The character Ella was hung as a witch in the sixteenth century and in every life that follows that title haunts her." </div>
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However, she isn’t a witch, but a soul-shifter born from the clan of Ariana, the cursed moon goddess. Ella can be re-born into another life up to five times in order for her to meet her soul-mate, but if she doesn’t meet him by then, death is eternal or so the legend says. I love exploring the character of Ella. She is a strong woman, battle worn from all the betrayals in her previous lives, and unwilling to trust or fall in love. She is a survivor. A healer. A warrior. But when she meets the one, everything changes."</div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now that you know a little bit about Jennifer, check out the following video and read about her latest release <i>Revenge of the Witch. </i></span></div>
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<b>Revenge of the Witch</b></div>
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Throughout her many lives, soul-shifter Ella Masters has been betrayed by men, and hunted by the Elusti, but that changed the day she met her soul-mate Marcus. However, when Zephra, a witch, predicts the end of days, it brings her maternity leave to an abrupt halt. Working as an agent at Orion, Ella vows to destroy her adversary once and for all. </div>
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Temporary leader of the private security firm, Marcus Drayton, has a mission to prevent all-out war. Attempting to forge an alliance between the humans and the supernatural races looks unlikely as the body count continues to sweep over the East Coast, and on the home front. As the stakes increase, lives are forever changed, and a need to confess a dark secret to his wife haunts him.</div>
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When Ella unravels a mystery—her world implodes. And when the true identity of the enemy is revealed—she learns revenge is a poison that ruptures the heart and devours the soul.</div>
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Will her love for Marcus survive when destiny calls? </div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FN2VGZN/ref=series_rw_dp_sw"><span style="color: blue;">https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FN2VGZN/ref=series_rw_dp_sw</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">For a sneak peek at my series, sign up for my newsletter and receive a free excerpt from <i>The Rise to Fame</i>. <a href="http://eepurl.com/dD_2yr" target="_blank">CLICK HERE to sign up for my newsletter</a><br /><br />And don't forget to follow me on social media:</span><br />
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</span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-38901683175841640702018-09-19T08:00:00.000-04:002018-09-19T08:00:06.383-04:00BIG ANNOUNCEMENT<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am happy to announce <i>The Cost of Fame</i> is NOW AVAILABLE!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's what one reviewer had to say after reading an advanced copy of <i>The Cost of Fame</i>:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">"Wow! Emotional, heartfelt and chilling! I couldn’t put this book down. I loved the characters and couldn’t get enough of them. Their story was a crazy whirlwind of love and suspense. It was dark and gritty with an ending that will leave you breathless. Contemporary romance isn’t my go to genre but I would definitely recommend this series to not only fans of the genre but also anyone looking for a beautiful haunting love story." - A. Martinez Goodreads</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, if you <b><i>haven't</i></b> read the <b><i>first</i></b> book in The Fame Series, you may want to skip reading the next section and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Fame-1/dp/1719448019/ref=pd_sbs_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1719448019&pd_rd_r=cfe31df3-bb91-11e8-8b29-77fe1a29c361&pd_rd_w=GLq2y&pd_rd_wg=lY6lV&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=53dead45-2b3d-4b73-bafb-fe26a7f14aac&pf_rd_r=Q8BWKXBX3VNA01DDQ2WW&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=Q8BWKXBX3VNA01DDQ2WW" target="_blank">CLICK HERE to purchase THE RISE TO FAME</a>.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What if getting everything you ever wanted cost you the only one you ever loved?<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One night. One stupid night. That's all it took to tear Alex’s world apart and rip her heart in two. Thanks to Richard’s plan she believes Colin committed the ultimate betrayal and she can’t imagine ever forgiving him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With Colin out of the way, Richard thinks his path to Alexandra is clear. But when he discovers a megastar is also vying for her affection, Richard is forced to up his game. With his obsession out of control, he takes drastic measures leaving Alex no choice. The only way to protect the people she loves is to agree to Richard’s terms and let Colin go forever.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After reluctantly giving her the space she requested, Colin returns home from a movie shoot determined to win Alex back. He won’t stop until she is back in his arms where she belongs. But she isn’t making it easy. Despite her continued attempts to push him away, it’s obvious she still loves him. Something isn’t right. If Colin doesn’t figure it out soon, one of them will be forced to pay the ultimate price.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not all stories have a happy ending. Will Colin and Alex get theirs or will their love be <i>The Cost of Fame</i>?</span><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cost-Fame-2/dp/1725788039/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1536509330&sr=1-1-catcorr" target="_blank">CLICK HERE to purchase The Cost of Fame</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Click one of the links below to sign up for my newsletter and receive a sneak peek at The Rise to Fame or The Cost of Fame.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://eepurl.com/dD_2yr" target="_blank">CLICK HERE for newsletter sign up and The Rise to Fame Excerpt</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://eepurl.com/dDY8m9" target="_blank">CLICK HERE for newsletter sign up and The Cost of Fame Excerpt</a></span></span></div>
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</span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-22795074162832413552018-08-22T08:00:00.000-04:002018-09-14T22:31:20.028-04:00Excerpt from The Rise to Fame<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Brief synopsis of <i>The Rise to Fame</i>:</b> Against all odds, Colin Riley and Alexandra Vaughn are making names for themselves in Hollywood. But their dreams may crumble when the man with the power to destroy their careers becomes obsessed with the love of Colin's life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;">Copyright 2018 Shay Stone</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;">**Except for brief quotations to be used in reviews and other non-commercial uses, no part of this excerpt</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The tension hung heavy in the air between them. Luckily, their characters spent a good portion of the play fighting, so the intensity worked. Sergio praised their performances telling them how impressed he was with their rewrite. “Let’s run through the last scene and then we can call it a night,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Like the true professional she was, Alex steeled herself, taking her place on stage ignoring her sweaty palms and pretending it didn’t feel like a pile of cinderblocks was crushing down on her chest. The last scene involved a kiss. The thought of Colin’s lips on hers was too much right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She knew he was blowing her off. Like a naïve school girl, she swallowed every line he fed her as though she was starving for it. Tears formed in her eyes as she resided herself to the fact that once again, she had allowed herself to be played. She blinked them away and sucked in a deep breath pushing it out quickly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Colin stood on the opposite side of the stage watching her. She was doing an excellent job trying to hide her emotions. To the casual onlooker, they appeared to be nothing more than two actors rehearsing. No one would guess they were lovers on the brink of implosion. But he could see the confusion and disappointment taking its toll, stealing a bit of the light from her eyes. He felt it when she stiffened every time he touched her, as though the contact physically burned her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The longer they rehearsed, the harder it was for her to keep up the façade. <i>Oh s#%t.</i> Her lower lids were getting shiny and watery. If she started crying right now, he would lose it. It was everything he could do not to wrap his arms around her and apologize for being so cold. He wanted to kiss away her tears, hating himself knowing he was the cause of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Alex recited her lines doing her best to get lost in the character, but it was difficult. The dialogue was emotional and echoed what they were going through – a couple on the verge of break up because of the secrets between them. She wondered if somehow, Colin had allowed his own fears to come out through the writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When it came time for the kiss, Alex tried to remain unaffected, but the moment their lips touched she knew all her efforts had been in vain. The kiss was tentative at first but quickly turned deep and sensual, like two lovers coming together after years apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The inexplicable response that overtook her body every time they touched was reacting inside her like sexual napalm blowing away all reason. She attempted to break away, but Colin tightened his hold around her waist until all the anger she was bottling up came flooding out. She pressed her hands to his chest pushing him away, pounding her fist against him, but he kept kissing her refusing to let her go. His hand gripped her hair almost violently, steadying her head until she finally succumbed allowing her fury to give way to passion and her carnal need for him to take over. Her hands framed his face and slid into his soft locks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">“Cut!” Sergio shouted for the second time before they heard him. “You guys are really going to have to tone it down for the play. Although, I do like the whole beating his chest thing. We should keep that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Alex pulled away breaking Colin’s hold. “You really are one hell of an actor.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">“Shall we run it one more time?” Sergio asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">“No. I think I’ve had enough for one day. We’re done here,” she replied giving Colin a glare so icy he felt his balls shrink. She gathered her things, leaving him standing on stage alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Let her go, Riley. It’s for the best.</i> He watched her walk away from him until she disappeared out the door.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">Click the following link to purchase <i>The Rise to Fame. </i><br /><a href="https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK" target="_blank"><b>Click Here to Purchase Ebook, Kindle or Paperback</b></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">Click here to purchase from Amazon directly:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FFFK1GZ" target="_blank">Click Here to Purchase from Amazon Directly</a></b></span></span></div>
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</span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-18520360280506938442018-08-14T09:39:00.000-04:002018-08-14T09:39:05.942-04:00Motivation: You Can Make Excuses or You Can Make ProgressThe last few weeks I have been doing posts highlighting up and coming authors, and if I don't have one to highlight, I do something funny or crazy. This week I wanted to do something a little more personal. I have seen a lot of people getting down on themselves or struggling. I know how hard it is. I know sometimes it gets so overwhelming that you want to give it up. But that's when you need to push the hardest.<br />
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If you are feeling defeated, please check out my video. Hopefully, it will give you some inspiration.<br />
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As always, please check out my book, <i>The Rise to Fame, </i>sign up for my newsletter (seriously, I'm a hoot!), and follow me on social media:<br />
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-40137238825085814462018-08-08T07:30:00.000-04:002018-08-15T21:06:54.503-04:00Book Boyfriends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This week I discuss why we love our book boyfriends and why men shouldn't be jealous. And check out the list below showing some of the best book boyfriends.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Book Boyfriends. We love'em. We need'em. We all have our favorites. Who's your favorite? Who have you read and who do you want to read?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Fall in love with my book boyfriend. Check out The Rise to Fame available on Amazon.com, Kobo, Apple, and Barnes and Noble.com. <a href="https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK"><span style="color: purple;">Click here to purchase in any format</span></a> or <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FFFK1GZ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1">Click here to purchase from Amazon directly</a>. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Don't forget to follow me on social media and to sign up for my newsletter:</span></div>
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-55842542631998220582018-08-01T07:00:00.000-04:002018-08-01T07:00:07.098-04:00Shay Stone Discusses Driving in Atlanta<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Since I don't have an author this week, I decided to share what I think is a funny story with you guys. Check it out and don't forget to purchase The Rise to Fame. Click the following link to get your copy today: <b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK">https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK</a></span></b></span><br />
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<b><br /></b> <b><br /></b> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter and to follow me on social media:</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Rise to Fame<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Colin Riley's past wasn't a pretty one. He'd worked hard to bury his demons. So when he crossed paths with Alexandra Vaughn, the daughter of the man that almost destroyed his life, he should have run. But he didn't. Instead, like an idiot, he fell in love. Alex was smart, talented, beautiful, and one of the most infuriating women Colin had ever met. From the second he laid eyes on her, he knew he'd do anything to make her his. Why else would he let her trick him into starring in some play?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was just supposed to be a way to get close to her. How could he have known saying yes to the role would change their lives forever? But that's what happens when Richard Steed - the most sought-after agent in Hollywood swoops in promising to make all their dreams come true. It doesn't take long before the slick agent's true intentions become known turning him into their worst nightmare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With a ghost from the past haunting them and an agent hell-bent on tearing them apart, is there any way Colin and Alex can survive <i>The Rise to Fame</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<i><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></i> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">The Rise to Fame</span></i><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"> is Book One in a two-book series. The second book, <i>The Cost of Fame</i> is due out September 2018.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><a href="https://books2read.com/b/4AYpAK">Click here to purchase digital or paperback</a></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-size: 16.6667px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FFFK1GZ"><span style="color: blue; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Click here to purchase from Amazon directly</span></a></b></div>
Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-25786268444365660202018-07-18T08:00:00.000-04:002018-08-15T21:07:48.140-04:00Author to Author: Shay Stone discusses The Rise to Fame<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Welcome to Author to Author. This weeks featured guest is (drumroll please): Me! Yep! That's right, my book has finally been released. Please check out my video to hear about the book, join me in a brief non-choreographed happy dance, and hear how I made a fool of myself in front of author Tiffany Reisz.</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The Rise to Fame</span></b></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Colin Riley's past wasn't a pretty one. He'd worked hard to
bury his demons. So when he crossed paths with Alexandra Vaughn, the daughter
of the man that almost destroyed his life, he should have run. But he didn't.
Instead, like an idiot, he fell in love. Alex was smart, talented, beautiful,
and one of the most infuriating women Colin had ever met. From the second he
laid eyes on her, he knew he'd do anything to make her his. Why else would he
let her trick him into starring in some play?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It was just supposed to be a way to get close to her. How
could he have known saying yes to the role would change their lives forever?
But that's what happens when Richard Steed - the most sought-after agent in
Hollywood swoops in promising to make all their dreams come true. It doesn't
take long before the slick agent's true intentions become known turning him
into their worst nightmare.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With a ghost from the past haunting them and an agent
hell-bent on tearing them apart, is there any way Colin and Alex can survive <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Rise to Fame</i>?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The Rise to Fame</span></i><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"> is
Book One in a two-book series. The second book, <i>The Cost of Fame</i> is
due out September 2018.</span></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>To purchase</b> The Rise to Fame, please click on any of the links below:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="color: purple;"></span><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
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</span></b><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-90459960858597441722018-07-11T08:00:00.000-04:002018-07-11T08:40:46.988-04:00Author to Author: Danica Raimz Discusses Jigsaw Hearts <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hey everyone,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;">This week we have the talented Danica Raimz her steamy contemporary romance </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;">Jigsaw Hearts,</i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;"> part of the </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;">Awaken My Heart</i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;"> series.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">JIGSAW HEARTS</span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Ren Hayden will never accept the ‘victim’ label. I stick to that promise, too—going on seven years now. Perhaps I’m somewhat twisted, but I easily numb the effects of my tragic life story by turning my emotions on and off as if by switch. When I can’t, I rely on three coping mechanisms that never fail me: cigarettes, writing out checks to charities, and meaningless, mind-numbing sex. A lonely life at age 23, perhaps, but living for my notable career as an entertainment journalist is enough. It’s the best I can hope for and it works for me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Suddenly, another tragedy takes away the only person who really knew me. The loss and all the turmoil he leaves behind become the final straw for my defense mechanisms, leaving me wide open to a sincere set of ethereal, hazel eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none;">Galen Zabriese is nothing this emotion-phobic girl can afford to be near and everything the world needs to be a better place--although he would certainly say differently on both counts. And for some reason, he sees right through my faltering defenses. He knows I’m hiding things. And no matter what I say or do, he can’t keep his hands off me....</span> </span></div>
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<i style="color: #212121; outline: transparent 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jigsaw Hearts is for readers ages 18+ due to mature content and graphic intimate situations. It is a standalone story with optional follow-up novellas that follow.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To purchase Jigsaw Hearts click the link below.</span></div>
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<b style="outline: transparent 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Links:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Amazon product link: <a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="https://www.amazon.com/Jigsaw-Hearts-Awaken-Heart-Book-ebook/dp/B01N9QO5AG" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color: #0066cc; outline: transparent 0px;" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Jigsaw-Hearts-Awaken-Heart-Book-ebook/dp/B01N9QO5AG</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To stay up to date on Danica's latest releases and work in progress, please follow her om social media:<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Amazon author page: </span><a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="https://www.amazon.com/Danica-Raimz/e/B01N4MATZK" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color: #0066cc; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; outline: transparent 0px;" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Danica-Raimz/e/B01N4MATZK</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">BN.com: <a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/reviews/jigsaw-hearts-danica-raimz/1125460039" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color: #0066cc; outline: transparent 0px;" target="_blank">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/reviews/jigsaw-hearts-danica-raimz/1125460039</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Danica Raimz Romance website: <a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="http://www.danicaraimzromance.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color: #0066cc; outline: transparent 0px;" target="_blank">http://www.danicaraimzromance.com</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Facebook page: <a data-auth="NotApplicable" href="https://www.facebook.com/danicaraimzromance" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color: #0066cc; outline: transparent 0px;" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/danicaraimzromance</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Twitter: @danica_raimz<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instagram: danica.raimz@author<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-28557540413306168752018-07-05T18:21:00.000-04:002018-07-05T18:33:18.287-04:00Author to Author: K Williams Discusses All or Nothing<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Hey everyone! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sorry I missed you last week, but I have a great new author to make up for it! Check out K. Williams discussing her latest release <i>All or Nothing</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>All or Nothing</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Justin is tired. Tired of loving a woman who only seems to want him in her bedroom. </span><br style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.4px; margin: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">When he gets a glimpse of what he hopes are her true feelings for him, he takes a chance and fools her into a therapy weekend. </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #333333; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black;">When the weekend ends, will they have Al</span>l or Nothing? </span></span></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/All-Nothing-K-Williams-ebook/dp/B07CR88CX6" target="_blank"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">https://www.amazon.com/All-Nothing-K-Williams-ebook/dp/B07CR88CX6</span></a><br />
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-72166628217203002102018-06-20T08:00:00.000-04:002018-06-20T08:37:02.400-04:00Author to Author: Krys Fenner Discusses Avenged<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In today's edition of Author to Author, Krys Fenner will be discussing her latest release, <i>Avenged</i>, part of the Dark Road series.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsv3ir2TKBiv7J5yCXLfysC_okOtefYl_siC_5bwcBqZnWpdW_J5CCuyBMa6_NmvOhR6Bybu5GqUmeyOxygqtcAYsWG6BYBKkVSKECIgkwNlVTIMPfs5fKseiI9rNAtju1MJLItgxJLZQ/s1600/Avenged+Krys+Fenner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="641" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsv3ir2TKBiv7J5yCXLfysC_okOtefYl_siC_5bwcBqZnWpdW_J5CCuyBMa6_NmvOhR6Bybu5GqUmeyOxygqtcAYsWG6BYBKkVSKECIgkwNlVTIMPfs5fKseiI9rNAtju1MJLItgxJLZQ/s320/Avenged+Krys+Fenner.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Avenged</span></b></span><br />
<div style="border: 0px; color: #444340; margin-bottom: 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At sixteen, Bella’s life has been filled with one tragic event after another. While on the road to recovery, she learns justice may not prevail. Refusing to let the bastard go unpunished, she decides to take matters into her own hands. A plot for revenge may be her undoing, but she’s determined to make Gervasio suffer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With everything they’ve been through, the last thing Jeremiah expected from Bella were lies and secrets. He knows she’s out for blood, yet he’ll do whatever it takes to protect her. Including turning her into the police. </span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #444340; margin-bottom: 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Gervasio may have gone into hiding, but he won’t leave empty-handed. Bella has always belonged to him and he won’t leave town without her. He’ll make it so he’s all she has left, even if it means going out with a bang.</span></span></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Is Bella so set out on revenge, she’s willing to accept the consequences? Is it too late for Jeremiah to play the hero? Or will Gervasio get what he wants once and for all?</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";">Addicted</span></b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"> - </span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0767N2TTB/"><span style="color: #0070c0;">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0767N2TTB/</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";">Damaged</span></b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"> - </span><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif;"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/Damaged-DarkRoadSeries"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">https://tinyurl.com/Damaged-DarkRoadSeries</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";">Avenged</span></b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"> - </span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D5T3J4X/"><span style="color: #0070c0;">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D5T3J4X/</span></a></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";">Website:</span></b><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"> </span><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><a href="https://www.krysfenner.co/"><span style="color: #0070c0;">https://www.krysfenner.co</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "garamond" , "serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">Please follow me, Shay Stone, on Facebook, Twitter, and head over to my website to subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on my upcoming release </span><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; text-align: justify;">The Rise to Fame</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;"> due out the end of June 2018. Also be sure to check out my other books available on Amazon.com and at BarnesandNoble.com.</span></div>
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-3329553175952232632018-06-13T08:00:00.000-04:002018-06-13T08:16:25.852-04:00Author to Author: Rosie Wylor-Owen discusses The Witch's Touch<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Welcome to Author to Author. On today's segment, you'll meet Urban Romance author, Rosie Wylor-Owen. She will be discussing her short story, The Witch's Touch. Check it out.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>AVAILABLE NOW</b></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">THE WITCH'S TOUCH</span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 14px;">Criminals are going missing. Felons or not, Detective Meeks is duty-bound to find them, with little to go on but a suspicious encounter between the latest missing person and a local business owner. As the case unravels, Meeks struggles to make sense of a world he thought he understood. Yet this twist of fate could be his chance to truly making a difference to the community he holds dear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;">Amanda Solanke is used to making waves, but never with the police. The last person to see the latest missing criminal, she is dragged to the heart of a police investigation. A small business owner in the eyes of the community, behind closed doors Amanda and her partner Leona guard a magical secret. The closer they are watched, the closer Amanda and Leona come to facing the ultimate danger: exposure.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px;"><b style="background-color: transparent;"><br /></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><b style="background-color: transparent;">TO PURCHASE:</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Head to Rosie's website and don't forget to sign up for her newsletter:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><a href="http://www.rosiewylor-owen.com/">http://www.rosiewylor-owen.com/</a></b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia, times new roman, serif;"><a href="https://mailchi.mp/102b528ef825/subscribe-to-rosie-wylor-owens-newsletter"><b>https://mailchi.mp/102b528ef825/subscribe-to-rosie-wylor-owens-newsletter</b></a></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Read her Blog:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://welcometothesecretlibrary.com/">https://welcometothesecretlibrary.com/</a></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Follow her on:</b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Facebook:</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/rosiewylorowenauthor/">https://www.facebook.com/rosiewylorowenauthor/</a></b><br />
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<b><span class="" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Pintrest:</span></b><br />
<a data-lynx-mode="hover" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.co.uk%2Frosiewylorowen%2F&h=ATMtdLK_2GFygQ7RR65YQhDfZA2fbH1DrIZP6UfkzmrHY5H5PmKsk8O_90DO8gYoZDdPaMzDpbf57QzRkV1VStOdZBXqCl9yTgUgrXPNj7WAcOrQ2uoxj0CtFuZwin9OXex7qA" rel="nofollow noopener" style="background-color: #f1f0f0; cursor: pointer; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">https://www.pinterest.co.uk/rosiewylorowen/</span></b></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Twitter: </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><a href="https://twitter.com/bates_rosie">https://twitter.com/bates_rosie</a></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Instagram:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">rouli91</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">To learn about other authors and their latest releases please subscribe to this blog.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">Please follow me, Shay Stone, on Facebook, Twitter, and head over to my website to subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on my upcoming release </span><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; text-align: justify;">The Rise to Fame</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;"> due out the end of June 2018. Also be sure to check out my other books available on Amazon.com and at BarnesandNoble.com.</span><br />
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<b><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Website: <a href="https://www.shaystone-official.com/">https://www.shaystone-official.com/</a></span></b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Facebook: </b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/shaystoneofficialsite/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>https://www.facebook.com/shaystoneofficialsite/</b></span></a></span></div>
<b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/shaystoneauthor">https://twitter.com/shaystoneauthor</a></b><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><span style="text-align: justify;">**If you would like to be featured on Author to Author, please follow me on Facebook and send me a private message or email me @ shaystone-author@outlook.com.**</span></span></span></span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-11953893475397544232018-06-06T08:00:00.000-04:002018-06-06T18:37:51.129-04:00Author to Author: Tia Lee Discusses Vermilion Tears<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hey everyone,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Welcome to my new segment Author to Author. A place for authors to discuss their latest works, and for fans to discover new authors or learn more about their favorites. Please check out the video below and be sure to click on the link to purchase Tia Lee's book <b>Vermilion Tears</b>. Feel free to share this on your Facebook page and in any reader groups.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilNwT0GIAiZRczwsreJAeQgualUx3ONHpfqvKtFNcC2GQ5wQIn3Q7cdjP-6jpdyW3Fr910T14RDw-UHsqxLzAhHbXVFg_KF9mBmlZFYEJ7rLkyDzir-Alx6K11yvu710zOYIz7TieBO5Ng/s1600/Vermillion+Tears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="313" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilNwT0GIAiZRczwsreJAeQgualUx3ONHpfqvKtFNcC2GQ5wQIn3Q7cdjP-6jpdyW3Fr910T14RDw-UHsqxLzAhHbXVFg_KF9mBmlZFYEJ7rLkyDzir-Alx6K11yvu710zOYIz7TieBO5Ng/s200/Vermillion+Tears.jpg" width="125" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Vermilion Tears by Tia Lee</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-align: justify;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-align: justify;">In late Nineteenth Century New </span>Haven<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; text-align: justify;"> naive Lydia Chester eagerly expects a new beginning in New York City. Instead, on the train bound for her new home, life as she knows it is ripped away by an attack from supernatural creatures she never realized existed. Now with the gifts of the supernatural, Lydia finds herself fleeing a sadistic captor and relentless bounty hunter to reunite with her family. Even if she is not caught, will her husband and daughter accept her still, though she has transformed into something terrifying?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"><b><br /></b></span></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>TO PURCHASE:</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Vermilion Tears is available at</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><a href="https://tinyurl.com/ycvlfjc5">https://tinyurl.com/ycvlfjc5</a></b></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">To stay up to date on new and upcoming releases:</span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Follow Author Tia Lee On Facebook </b>@ <a href="https://www.facebook.com/tia.lee.75470" style="font-weight: bold;">https://www.facebook.com/tia.lee.75470</a><b> </b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">To learn about other authors and their latest releases please subscribe to this blog.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Please follow me, Shay Stone, on Facebook, Twitter, and head over to my website to subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on my upcoming releases and for a sneak peek at my new cover for </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The Rise to Fame</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> due out the end of June 2018. Also be sure to check out my other books available on Amazon.com and at BarnesandNoble.com.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Website: <a href="https://www.shaystone-official.com/">https://www.shaystone-official.com/</a></span></b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Facebook: </b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/shaystoneofficialsite/"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>https://www.facebook.com/shaystoneofficialsite/</b></span></a></span></div>
<b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-align: justify;">Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/shaystoneauthor">https://twitter.com/shaystoneauthor</a></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you would like to be featured on Author to Author, please send me a private message on Facebook or email me @ shaystone-author@outlook.com.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-1810546069276142822017-05-31T15:15:00.000-04:002018-08-15T21:06:41.682-04:00Random Thoughts Women Have Before Sex (Warning Mature Readers Only!)<div style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, as I was screwing around online I saw an article that was something like<span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span><i style="font-size: 16px;">11 Things Men Think about When They See a Women Naked.</i><span style="font-size: 16px;"> Now, I'm not a guy, but I have to think that if I was and there was a naked woman in front of me, the most prevalent thing running through my mind would be, </span><i style="font-size: 16px;">Cool, a naked chick that wants to have sex with me. </i><span style="font-size: 16px;">Sure a guy may think to suck in his gut, stick out his chest, and flex a little but mainly he is thinking, </span><i style="font-size: 16px;">Haha... boobs... and I get to touch them.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">See, I don't believe women spend as much time pondering what men think when they see us naked as these articles suggest. No, when we get (or are about to get) horizontal with a man I believe we spend way more time in our <i>own</i> heads. So I have put together some random thoughts that tend to run through our minds and get in the way when we are having (or are about to have) sex.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(*Note: These are in no particular order and can vary depending on the stage of the relationship.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #1:</b> <b>"I am way too fat to have sex today."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, men. I realize it may sound crazy, but even though we may <i>look</i> like we weigh the same to you from day to day, we really do have fat days and skinny days. Maybe it's water retention from hormones or maybe it's a guilty conscience from the one bite of cake that turned into us finishing off half of the ass end of our niece's My Little Pony leftover birthday cake, but fat/skinny days are not just in our head. The good news is we still have sex on our fat days, but we're more likely to feel like sex goddesses and curl your toes on our skinny days;)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #2: Body disclosures</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My God, I hope he doesn't have anything freaky that he forgot to disclose and I have to act like I've seen it before or it's perfectly normal. (Usually reserved for the 1st sexual experience...or for some people, the first sober sexual experience or sexual experience with the lights on);</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #3:</b> <b>I'm not digging that</b>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>What</i><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> is he doing? </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">How can I make him stop doing that without spending the next 6 months reassuring him that he isn't a bad lover, I just didn't like</span><i> that.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #4:</b> <b>Is he a freak?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please don't let him be into anything really freaky...(i.e. don't let me walk in and find him wearing my lingerie and heels, learn he is into farm animals [doing or acting like one] or call me "Mommy." <i>Ewwwwww - </i>btw, that was Ewwwww as in gross, not the sheep.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought # 5: Chores</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Man, are those cobwebs on the ceiling? I just dusted!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #6: Insecurities</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did you see his ex? There is no WAY I am getting naked knowing he dated a girl that looked like that. Yes, she may be completely psychotic and I may be smarter and have a better personality, but you don't f#%k personality! (New relationship pre-sex)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #7:</b> <b>Grooming</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Seriously? What's with the double standard? I need a freakin' machete' down here!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #8: Are we done yet?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is he close? I hope he is close. I'm chaffing here!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #9:</b> <b>Expressions</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Does he know he is making that face? I wonder if he knows he is making that face?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #10: Timing</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He wants to have sex now? Vampire Diaries is on in 5 minutes. ( Vampire Diaries can be swapped with any of the following: Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, The Voice, etc)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #11: "Excuse me"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is it rude if I tap his head to get his attention?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #12: Entertainment</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why do all men do that dance? Ladies, you know the one (and men so do you). Your man stands naked with his hands on his head, legs apart, and thrusts his hips back and forth making his "wingman" fly back and forth wildly.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #13:</b> <b>That's it?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I guess we're <i>done</i> with foreplay?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #14: Wardrobe</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Really? He got completely naked but couldn't take the extra 2 seconds to take off the black socks? I wonder if I can take them off with my toes?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Thought #15: Kids (if you have them)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did I lock the door? Did he lock the door? The kids are going to walk in? Did he lock the door? Did I lock the door? I know I didn't lock the door? I bet he didn't lock the door. I bet the door's not locked...</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't forget to check out my book: Why Am I Still Single? A Tough Love Guide For Single Women Available on Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaPDQgWHptooVulx8c6_93WLFkNQpBcP12mOtFsR2KQM_bNVRwze6k6pena40BAgjvQQsNFbRq7ohVEEvAqFNfnxaaa6N7bI4HYczkgz2nW5CrzQTfcXLtcMy1Rz7mzhsGkh3ep-nI3_Gr/s1600/cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #00826b; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaPDQgWHptooVulx8c6_93WLFkNQpBcP12mOtFsR2KQM_bNVRwze6k6pena40BAgjvQQsNFbRq7ohVEEvAqFNfnxaaa6N7bI4HYczkgz2nW5CrzQTfcXLtcMy1Rz7mzhsGkh3ep-nI3_Gr/s320/cover.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-radius: 0px; border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2) 0px 0px 20px; padding: 8px; position: relative;" width="226" /></span></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif;"><br /></b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Why-Am-Still-Single-Tough/dp/0985590610/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348718953&sr=8-1&keywords=why+am+i+still+single+shay+stone" style="color: #00826b;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">http://www.amazon.com/Why-Am-Still-Single-Tough/dp/0985590610/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348718953&sr=8-1&keywords=why+am+i+still+single+shay+stone</span></a></div>
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-35273680339305608782017-05-11T11:30:00.000-04:002018-06-05T09:56:40.139-04:00Wilford Brimley is Pissed<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">Wilford Brimley is pissed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">Why you ask? Because you have been slacking.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">"But Shay," you say, "I have been working all day. I come home, take care of my family and then do my A-Z challenge like a good little blogger."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">Well, let me ask you this: When was the last time you checked your blood sugar?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>See, that's what I thought!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">Seriously, can someone tell me why he is so pissed off? I'll be sitting in my living room, watching TV, not bothering anyone, then </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">BAM!</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> there he is on my screen, with his red, bulldog-like face and his overgrown, furry caterpillar mustache all up in my business, like a total hardass telling me, "You check your blood sugar and you check it often! There's no reason not to."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">Excuse me, Mr. Brimley, but I </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">do</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> have a valid reason not to check it: I </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">don't</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> have diabetes. So, why are you going all postal and yelling at me?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">Do you get paid on every diabetes or as you say, "</span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">dibeetus</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">", kit you sell? Are you pissed because you have to prick your fingers and think everyone should suffer and feel your pain?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">All I know is I don't come into your living room and make you suffer the same things I have to go through. Have I ever gotten pissy with you and demanded, "You get a pap smear and you get it often!" I didn't think so!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">I don't know why you are so angry. Maybe you are mad that you can't eat things with sugary goodness or maybe you are upset because </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">Our House</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> got canceled. We're all still reeling from that one.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">All I know is you better back off, Brim or I will start spiking your food with pixie stix. So, Mr. Brimley, </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">you</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> check </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">your</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;"> blood sugar and you check it often and leave me in peace to eat my Reese's peanut butter cups! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px;">You don't scare me!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">Well maybe a little... seriously, what is with that mustache?</span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-20538813687615095482016-12-07T11:30:00.000-05:002018-06-05T12:05:49.733-04:00Confessions of a Recovering “Nice Girl”<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
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<i>"Well behaved women rarely make history." - Eleanor Roosevelt.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi, my name is Shay and I am a recovering nice girl.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That probably sounds pretty strange. I mean, why would anyone want to recover from being nice? Haven’t parents and teachers drilled it into our heads to be nice? Isn’t that what we strive to be? Aren’t girls <i>supposed</i> to be nice?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Growing up I was always considered to be a nice kid. My teachers loved me. I didn’t speak out of turn in class. I never questioned authority because I was taught to respect my elders. I maintained good grades. As a teenager, I never sneaked out of the house, went to wild parties and drank or experimented with any drugs. When I was bullied, I wouldn’t retaliate or pick fights because nice girls didn’t do stoop to that level. Instead, I would try to rise above it, turn the other cheek, walk away, go home and cry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As an adult, I continued to be nice. I was a hard-working, dedicated employee. I had a large group of friends and I prided myself on being a good friend - in many cases, a <i>better </i>friend. When friends betrayed me by talking about me behind my back or doing something hurtful, I would always forgive them because that is what nice girls did.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Dating was, well let’s just say I was never exactly in high demand. I was raised in a house where not only was sex something saved for marriage, but it was viewed as something bordering on shameful. Nice girls didn’t have sex and they sure as hell didn’t enjoy it. In school, my virginity was no secret so I often went dateless. Occasionally, I would hear that a boy liked me, but no one ever seemed to follow through. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I seemed perpetually condemned to the dreaded friend zone. I was the one that the guys would come to complain about their girlfriends, get advice, tell me how great I was and then leave to go have sex with their girlfriends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I remember one time I was told that a certain boy friend (not boyfriend) was going to ask me to prom, but he ended up asking someone else instead. When I asked him why he had changed his mind, he told me that I was a "nice girl" and it was prom so he was going to expect to get some that night and asked the “sure thing” to go instead of me. In an attempt to ease my disappointment he said, “You’re not the girl you date; you’re the girl you marry.” It was the first time I had heard that statement but it certainly wouldn’t be the last and for some stupid reason, this appeased me for a while.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I got older, dating still sucked. Although my virginity had come and gone with my first serious boyfriend and I discovered I actually <i>liked</i> sex (a lot) I still wasn’t a one night stand or casual sex kind of girl. I was a nice girl. And you know who likes nice girls? <i>Bad boys</i>. Maybe it was the challenge or simply the juxtaposition. Whatever it was, they seemed drawn to me like a moth to a flame and the feeling was definitely mutual.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A lot of people wonder how women can continuously fall for these bad guys – like we look at this broke, in-between jobs, addict and think, “Ooo, I have got to get me some of that!” While I won’t go too much into it (that’s a subject for another article!) I will say that I blame 2 things: First, Hollywood. We have all seen the movies where the bad boy finds his true love, changes his ways and becomes the perfect guy for the nice (aka “good”) girl. Hell, we even occasionally hear about it happening in real life. This gives us hope.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Second, a bad boy doesn’t come across as bad boy when you first meet him. He always seems on the cusp of a metamorphosis into a good guy - mysterious, misunderstood, a bit of a rule breaker, and to a nice girl that always plays by the book, that is a bit exciting. He is confident, doting, romantic and makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world. He tries to forge an instant connection, often suggesting you move in or marry him within a month or two of dating, before you figure out that he is really just a self-involved head case that continuously sabotages his own happiness and is perfectly willing to take you down with him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As a nice girl, I was willing to give up everything to show this guy that he was worthy of love. In my warped nice girl brain, sacrificing my hopes and dreams to support his latest harebrained scheme was a way to prove my love and hopefully make him believe in me the way I believed in him. After all, nice girls compromise. Nice girls sacrifice. Growing up, my mom used to constantly utter the phrase, “Relationships are 90/10 and YOU’RE THE 10” – something her grandfather had told her. And while I always balked that would never be me, I did succumb to all that “Stand by your man” crap. I was supportive. I was loyal. I put my needs on the back burner. I was nice. And most of all, I was <i>miserable.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So after a few failed relationships and one failed marriage, I decided I didn’t want to be a “nice girl” anymore. You see I finally realized that while people were saying “nice girl” what they were really meant was “doormat.” It’s true. Nice girls are agreeable. Nice girls have an overwhelming need to be liked. Nice girls don’t rock the boat. They don’t stand up for themselves. They don’t ask for raises. Nice girls are afraid of what people think. Nice girls live in constant fear of being judged, and often, even pass judgment on themselves. They don’t have sex with random people. They allow family members to be emotionally abusive because they don’t want to make waves. They forgive friends that only offer one-sided friendship. They say yes to all favors even at the risk of spreading themselves too thin because they want to be perceived as “nice.” They know saying “No” would run the risk of being referred to as the dreaded b-word. In fact, they are so fearful of being labeled a “b*%ch” that they continuously allow themselves to be manipulated and taken advantage of until they are left empty, miserable, and often bitter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People may have confused you into believing that being nice means being a doormat. It doesn’t. And that is why I recommend everyone stop being a nice girl as soon as possible. I am certain that I have been referred to as the b-word. And while years ago, it probably would have destroyed me, causing me to bend over backward to prove that I wasn’t, today I no longer care. Well, I care a little and that is why I am a <i>recovering</i> nice girl. I wish it didn’t bother me but honestly, sometimes it does and sometimes I still cry. But I’m getting better because I finally realized, in most cases, when someone says “bitch” what they are actually saying is, “<i>You won’t allow yourself to be bullied and manipulated by me anymore. I have to treat you with respect and boy, does that piss me off</i>.” So now I wear my Bitch badge proudly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Recently my friend got into a debate with a guy that she had known since high school but hadn't seen in decades. Her opinion differed from his and in a last ditch effort, when he ran out of points to defend his position he tried to intimidate her by saying, “<i>What happened to you? You used to be such a nice girl</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In short, she didn’t just let him win the argument. She stood up for her convictions. And to him, that meant she was no longer a nice girl. Maybe he even thought she was a bitch. But instead of cowering or being intimidated at the inference, she simply said, “<i>I am still a nice girl. But what I am not is a pushover</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's time we redefine our idea of the word "nice." Don't let your need to be considered a nice person allow you to be manipulated out of your own needs, wants or desires. Be kind. Help others. Say "yes" to wild and crazy nights with friends. Say "no" to some favors. Call people out on their bullcrap. Stand up for yourself. Live your life for you and don’t ever dim your own light so someone else’s can shine brighter. Be bad! Be bold! Be brave! And above all else, stop being so damned nice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">Sincerely,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">A recovering nice girl</span></div>
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-23472019857591392642014-11-17T19:45:00.003-05:002018-06-05T12:15:46.233-04:00What I Have Learned about Turning 40This year I have been doing something I have never done before. I have caught myself interjecting my age into sentences and various conversations. Age has never been something that has bothered me. In fact, in the past when someone has asked me my age, I've had to stop and think about it for a minute because I often say the age I am going to be instead of the age I am. So what's the new obsession with my age? Well in one week I am about to turn forty.<br />
<br />
Yep, that's right. <b>The BIG 4-0</b>.<br />
<br />
Now I have heard about people my age, male and female, that have done things ranging from spending the day crying under the covers in bed & refusing to talk to anyone, to having a major midlife crisis, to shrugging it off and not really acknowledging it at all. I will say this, most people at least say at some point, "Wow, I can't believe I am going to be forty."<br />
<br />
I think the reason for the big forty awakening is because you are hit with a number of things when you turn or are about to turn forty. For example, Like most people, my friends are constantly posting pictures of their kids on Facebook. The disturbing thing about that is that instead of the cute <i>baby's first steps </i>videos or <i>look who lost her first tooth </i>pictures, the photos are of children graduating from high school or heading off to college, or (gulp*) of their babies having babies which makes my friends officially <i>grandparents.</i> Aren't grandparents supposed to be little, old, cute gray-haired people that are always handing out candy or giving you a quarter? And the fact that my friends' children are heading off to school makes me realize one thing - their kids are now as old (or in many cases older) than the age I was when I first met their mother or father. <i>Eeeeek!</i><br />
<br />
Besides my friends having offspring that are old enough to drink and have kids, the other forty realization that slaps me in the face is that forty seems to be the age when you are really viewed as an <i>adult</i>. Yes, it's cute that we call 18-year-olds <i>adults</i>, and allow people to officially drink and buy their own alcohol at 21 because they are <i>adults.</i> You even get a break in your car insurance when you hit the big 2-5. But forty is the age when you are expected to really have your s#%t together.<br />
<br />
According to societies' standards, by forty you should be married, have your career in full swing, and your family well underway, have stability, and saved at least half of your retirement. And well, all of this makes me more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Hmmmm, let's see how I stack up:<br />
<br />
<b>Married</b> - check!<br />
<b>Divorced</b> - check! (Ok, that wasn't on the list, but hey! look at me <i>Bonus Accomplishment!</i> Plus they kind of go hand in hand)<br />
<b>Career</b> - Which one? Still trying to find that perfect fit.<br />
<b>Family</b> - Do dogs and cats count?<br />
<b>Stability</b> - I pay my bills , if you call that stable. However, one bad illness and I could end up on the street living in a cardboard box with my dogs and cats... but it would be a stable box.<br />
<b>Retirement</b> - Ha! Can't even fathom that. My last long term investment was in my 1997 Toyota Corolla because I knew it would save me money on gas. Between my divorce and the Recession (you know, the one they say we never had), coupled with a few unexpected surgeries, my bank account pretty much consists of dust. Seriously, when I get my statement for my savings account from my bank it says, "Balance: HAHAHAHA! P.S. When are you going to get started on this?"<br />
<br />
Like most people, it seems every time I start to get ahead, something happens like my car needs brakes, or I get a rock to the windshield, or my uterus tries to implode. You know, normal every day things that seem to keep me from getting on my feet and ahead of the game. It's frustrating when there seem to be obstacles at every turn. So instead of beating myself up for where I should be, I'm going to try to think about the things I've done, learned, and most of all, overcome.<br />
<br />
At 40 I have:<br />
<br />
Graduated high school and completed some college;<br />
Survived a major accident;<br />
Overcome (for the most part), several health issues that would have sidelined most people;<br />
Written 2 books that were both published;<br />
Owned a record label, pizzeria, Italian restaurant, horse farm, and recycling business;<br />
Found hobbies I thoroughly enjoy (painting and writing);<br />
Lived in 3 different states;<br />
Experienced marriage... and even better, experienced divorce :)<br />
Learned what I do and don't want in a partner and that I am perfectly comfortable being single too;<br />
Made lifelong friends that I wouldn't trade for anything;<br />
Understand the difference between friends you can count on & friends that are just fun to hang out with on occasion;<br />
Learned blood doesn't make you family. Loyalty does - that's why some friends are family.<br />
Acknowledged that if I have to fight to keep someone in my life, they probably don't deserve to be there;<br />
Learned to never take advice or care about the opinion of someone that I don't respect;<br />
Saved or given a home to some incredible animals;<br />
Traveled (not as much as I'd like, but I am still fortunate enough to have done some travelling);<br />
Learned my clothing size has nothing to do with my self worth;<br />
Realized it's OK to tell people, "No" when I don't want to do something;<br />
Volunteered for various charities;<br />
Learned the only person responsible for my happiness is me;<br />
Acknowledged that people will treat you how you allow them to treat you;<br />
Realized it's OK to like sex and own that fact;<br />
Understood I will always come second to someone's addiction. That's not my problem, it's their's;<br />
Realized some people want to be miserable; I also realized I should distance myself from those people so they don't make me miserable;<br />
Learned to trust my gut;<br />
Continued to feed my inner child to keep me young- mine likes cupcakes;<br />
Realized feeding that child doesn't keep me looking young, but sunscreen, moisturizer, exercise, and water will;<br />
Age is a mindset;<br />
Carmines has the best Italian food in the country with Christini's in Orlando being a very close 2nd;<br />
A wagging tail = an immediate smile;<br />
Most of all, I realized I like me and it's OK if no one else does.<br />
<br />
And while I had thought that I would be in a very different place by the time I reached forty, I'm not in a bad place. No one's life is perfect or turns out just the way they planned. I mean, how boring would <b><i>that</i></b> be? In the word's of Aerosmith, " Life's a journey not a destination" and I'm looking forward to what the next forty will bring.<br />
<br />
What have you learned by the time you turned 20? 30? 40? 50? 60? 70+?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-77765821594275944052014-11-04T14:29:00.001-05:002018-06-08T10:24:15.025-04:00Why You Shouldn't Tell Your Kid, "No."<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">OK, before everyone goes off on me about how we are raising a society of undisciplined, disrespectful brats, hear me out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I think that we can all agree that parents today are, hmmm...how can I put this delicately shall we say, CRAZY overprotective! Kids have to wear a helmet to ride a bike or they risk falling, hitting their head and having to eat through a tube for the rest of their lives. Seriously, I heard a mother say that to her kid. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If a class is tough, clearly it is the teacher's fault. The material should be easier or the parent will demand the child be transferred to a different class, where the teacher isn't "picking on him." Oh, and let's not forget that EVERYONE has to get a trophy so that no one gets their feelings hurt. <i>You were born?</i> Here's a trophy. <i>You're 7 and wiped your own ass?</i> Here's a trophy. <i>Your team came in last place?</i> Trophies all around! I mean GOD FORBID your child is made to believe they aren't good at something. Why risk the blow to their self esteem and years of therapy when a simple "Participation" ribbon lets everyone know, "Hey you! You are average! Just like everyone else"? You know, because that's the way life works. You get a job, don't work as hard as the person next to you, your mommy calls your superior to say if you don't get the promotion you'll be sad and your feelings will be hurt, so naturally, your boss gives you the promotion. No wonder our country is in the toilet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">With that said you're probably wondering, in a world where parents are afraid to (but should) tell their children "No," why the hell am I saying not to do it? Because some parents are protecting<i> </i>their children right out of success. Recently, I have been present when various parents have made the following remarks or some other equally detrimental ones to their children, and it absolutely infuriates me:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"I don't know why you want to try out for the [insert sport here] team. There are kids that have been playing since they were 5. You're not going to make it."</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<i>You need to know your place in this world</i>."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have three words: <b>SHAME ON YOU!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">How dare you tell your child what they can and cannot accomplish! Whether you are doing it because you think you are protecting them from failure or simply because if you were in their position, you wouldn't have the guts to go for it, you need to stop and realize the negative impact you are making on your child's life.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Life is all about failure, overcoming obstacles, and striving to be our best self. A parent should never discourage their child from having goals and trying to be the best person they can.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Let me give you some examples:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When I wanted to try out for cheerleading in high school, my mom all but forbade me. She was so afraid I would be disappointed when I didn't make it, that it never even dawned on her that I might actually make it. ( I did).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Years later, I was in an accident. After several surgeries, while trying to find meaning in tragedy, I decided to write a book to help people living with chronic pain. There was one catch...my head injury left me with the inability to look at a computer screen. That could have stopped me in my tracks, but I refused to let it. Not only did I write my novel, I got it published. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Too small scale? How about these examples:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">On January 29th, 1954, a little black girl was born in rural Kosciusko, Mississippi<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 27px;">. She survived a troubled adolescence in which she was sexually abused by relatives and male friends of her mother. As a teen, she moved to Tennessee to live with her father. She attended school, went to college and grew up to have her own talk show, and eventually her own network. Today she is one of the most powerful, well-respected women in the world. I am of course talking about Oprah Winfrey. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sophomore year, Laney High School, N.C. Mike Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player to ever play, failed to make the Varsity team. Did that stop him? No. He busted his butt to become the best all-around player and became the superstar we know today as the great #23, Michael Jordan.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And perhaps one of the most inspiring stories, March 24th, 1986, a mother gave birth to a child born with congenital amputation. Kyle Maynard had no arms below the elbow and no legs below the knee. Instead of his parents sheltering him and allowing him to use that as an excuse to do nothing with his life, they encouraged him to be as independent as possible. Kyle grew up wanting to wrestle. He joined the school wrestling team. At first, he lost every match... then one day something happened. He won. And then it happened again. In fact, it happened 34 more times. He eventually went on to be inducted into The National Wrestling Hall of Fame. But Kyle didn't stop there. He trained hard and went on to compete as an amateur mixed martial arts fighter, and as if those feats weren't impressive enough, he decided he wanted to climb Africa's Mt. <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">Kilimanjaro...and did.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">In any of these instances, it would have been very easy for the parents of these children to say, "It's too hard" or "You can't do it." </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">"Oprah, you want to be a millionaire. You're crazy. Remember where you are from. Little black girls from Mississippi do not become millionaires."</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">"Michael, you couldn't even make the Varsity team. You think you are going to play professional ball someday? There are a million kids that have that dream and were good enough to make Varsity their first time out. You need to think more practically."</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">"</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">Kyle, how is a kid with no arms and legs going to climb a mountain? You have to be realistic son. There are some things you are going to have to accept that you </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">just </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">can't do."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">So the next time you're speaking with your child and they tell you they want to find the cure for cancer or invent the flying car or be a ballerina, I'm begging you, please be mindful of your words. Don't be that voice of doubt in your child's head that says, "You can't do it." The one that causes a bundle of nerves and makes them too afraid to try out for the team, ask for that raise they deserve or dare to change the world. Instead, be the one that teaches them how to accomplish their dreams. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">If your 5'7 son tells you he wants to make the basketball team, encourage him to try out and if he doesn't make it, instead of letting him give up, help him put together a game plan to improve his skills so he can make the team next time. Encourage him to practice and train with him whenever possible. Teach him the only failure in life is not trying and if you want something bad enough, you work for it, whether that be studying, hours of practice, interning, or daring to think outside the box. After all, it worked for Spud Webb. He went on to not only play in the NBA but to win the Slam Dunk contest.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">Remember kids tend to share their dreams with the ones they are closest to in the hopes of receiving support and encouragement. Imagine the look on Neil Armstrong's mother's face when he said," Hey Mom, you see that moon up there? I'm going to be the first person to walk on it someday." She had to think, "Sure you are son! And how do you plan on getting there? Walking?" But you know what, he did it. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">So if your child has a dream, no matter how ludicrous it may sound, don't crush it. Don't point out all the reasons why it can't happen. Don't say,"No." Instead, let them dream. Sit down with your kid and together, come up with a list of steps they can take to achieve their goals, whatever they may be. Let them know you believe in them so that one day when other people are trying to hold them back and telling them <i>it's too hard!</i> <i>That's impossible!</i> <i>You can't do it!</i> You can be the voice inside their head that says, "I believe in you. Yes, you can."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;">Please if you like this post, share it :)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><b><span style="color: blue;">**Don't forget to check out my books <i>Pain, Pain, Go Away</i> and <i>Why Am I Still Single? A Tough Love Guide for Single Women </i>available on Amazon.com and at Barnes&Noble.com **</span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><b><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></b></span> <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shay-Stone/e/B00LM092HY" target="_blank">Shay Stone books on Amazon</a></span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><b><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/shay-stone" target="_blank">Shay Stone books Barnes & Noble</a></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><b><br /></b></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 21.9939994812012px;"><br /></span>Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-47059446752734192452014-08-20T10:02:00.000-04:002018-06-08T11:02:39.584-04:00Does Love Still Exist?We all know those couples. The ones that met when they were in high school or saw each other on the street, locked eyes and immediately knew they were soul mates and meant to spend the rest of their lives together. They got married, never questioned it and appear to have found the key to true love.<br />
<br />
<i>I hate these people.</i><br />
<br />
See, for me love doesn't come easy. Allow me to clarify: I love my family, friends, and tell my dogs and cat that I love them daily. But when it comes to <i>true</i> love... real, romantic, spending the rest of your life together kind of love... it terrifies me and remains something that I don't know that I am capable of achieving.<br />
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I used to think I was alone when it came to this feeling, which made me feel like even more of an outcast. Then, one night after a little too much wine, I confessed something to a friend: Even though I had been married at one point in my life, I didn't know if I'd ever been<i> in</i> love.<br />
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I loved my ex-husband, but I wasn't<i> in</i> love with him. Now, there were probably many reasons for that - the least of which was our relationship was more of the roommate variety opposed to the husband and wife kind, much to my dismay. But then, after my divorce, dates with other men, a few marriage proposals, and even one man's request to have a child with him, I found that I still felt the same way. Whenever I would think about the idea of falling in love or enter into a relationship with someone I would get the same image in my head that would cause me to high tail it out of the relationship so fast I'd leave a Scooby-Doo type shape of myself in the door behind me.<br />
<br />
<i>The Image:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>I'm standing alone, strong and independent. Then a black, transparent, ghostly shadow with long arms and exaggerated, skinny fingers comes up behind me, wrapping its arms around me so tight that I can't move and begin to choke. It pulls me tighter and closer into it until it envelopes me completely and I am lost forever.<br />
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<i>OK, air... I need air.</i><br />
<br />
I mean, seriously, what the hell was wrong with me? Was I cold-hearted? Unfeeling? Too realistic? Too logical for love? Or was I just simply incapable of love? Then my friend responded in a way that I did not expect, "Oh my God, you feel that way too?!? I thought it was just me."<br />
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My friend and I discussed it at length and dissected it to the point that would exhaust Freud. We both wanted to fall that deeply in love but didn't know if it could ever happen. Neither one of us could imagine letting ourselves be vulnerable and surrendering control long enough to fall in love. Maybe it was trust issues or maybe we were both control freaks or maybe we just couldn't let go of how bad we had been burned by previous relationships. I remembered something my ex said while we were still just dating, "You can never love anyone like you loved your first love."<br />
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At first, the statement bothered me and I took offense to it. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to understand. See when you go into a relationship for the first time, you open your heart and give it everything you have. You become infatuated with the person and they occupy your every thought. As you're driving in your car and a song comes on the radio, you find yourself thinking, T<i>his should be our song </i>or <i>this would make a great wedding song someday for us.</i> You imagine your perfect future together - the house, the kids, the dog (or cat), traveling the world, and living happily ever after. Then <i>WHAM!!!</i> You catch your guy (or girl) in bed with your best friend. You're mad, hurt, heartbroken, and most of all, you're blindsided. The life you imagined for yourself with the person you never thought would hurt you is obliterated into a million pieces and you're left standing there thinking, <i>what the hell just happened? How did I not see it coming?</i><br />
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Once you have been hurt like that, no one has the ability to do it again, because, on some subconscious level, it is always in the back of your mind. And I think that really is true. Was that what was holding me back? Is that why I could never feel that deep love?<br />
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Or was my definition of love wrong? I remember my first <i>love</i>. He had long dark hair and was a grade above me. We were friends, which meant that we hung out at school, but other than that, he didn't notice me. I used to pine over him, doodling his last name behind my first name, writing poems about him, imagining the day when he would wake up and realize we were destined to be together. Needless to say, he never did. He ended up knocking up his high school sweetheart, got married in 12th grade, and had a mess of kids. He broke my heart most likely without even knowing it.<br />
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My<i> next</i> first love came when I was around 20 years old. I say my <i>next</i> first because over time I realized I probably wasn't really in love when I was younger. It was more of a crush... an infatuation with the idea of the guy and life I created in my mind. My second first love, I actually dated. If you have read my book <i>Why Am I Still Single? A Tough Love Guide for Single Women (</i>Chapter titled <i>The Savior), </i>then you know it was visceral, very tumultuous, and almost destroyed me. It was also what I thought was love. I did everything I was supposed to - when he had to move to another state, I went with him. When he struggled with addiction, I stood by him; when he didn't think he was worthy of love and tried to push me away, I wouldn't let him and tried to show him why he deserved to be loved and how good it could be. I sacrificed my wants, needs, and basically myself, again and again, thinking that it would prove my love because, to me, love was supposed to be unconditional.<br />
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Eventually, I ended the relationship, but the pattern continued even into my marriage. The only way to prove that you loved someone was to support them no matter what, even at the expense of your own happiness. After all, if you were supporting their dreams, they would reciprocate and support your's as well and it would even out. Right?<br />
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<i>Wrong. </i><br />
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Inevitably my dreams were put on hold. At first, it was OK. I didn't mind showing my support because well, that's what women were <i>supposed </i>to do. Yep, I said it. Little Miss Independent just said that line of crap. Like many of my friends, I grew up in a time and with a mother that instilled in me that women sacrifice for the men in their life. To be fair, it is the way she grew up too. Women stayed home and took care of the house and kids while the husband worked. So naturally, if his job required a move, the family relocated and everyone just had to adapt. My mother once told me, "I'm going to tell you what my grandfather told me. Relationships are 90/10 and you're [woman] the 10."<br />
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Naturally, I balked at the sentiment. I would reply that relationships should be equal with both partners giving 100/100, to which my mom would laugh and say, "We'll see."<br />
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Still, there I was in each of my relationships, throwing a bowling game so that my partner wouldn't ruin the night, mad because he was beaten by a girl, or putting my dreams on hold so my ex could pursue one dream after another assuring me that my time would be coming. Whenever I would try to pursue my own dreams, I would be accused of not being supportive.<br />
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After my divorce I realized two things - 1) Love isn't unconditional. You have to have conditions in order to have respect. No matter how loving and supportive someone can be, if you push them far enough, they can (and should) leave. My ex once told me that there was nothing I could do that would make him leave me, then got mad when I didn't echo his thoughts. The truth was, there were things he could do that would cause me to leave him like cheating, physical violence, etc.<br />
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Some people see unconditional love as romantic; others see it as carte blanche. People need boundaries and need to know that although you love them, you aren't going to be treated like a doormat to prove it and are willing to walk away if necessary. And while that statement may scare some people that want a guarantee of forever no matter what happens, it can also provide a comfort because it shows that you are staying with someone by choice, not obligation.<br />
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The other thing I realized during my marriage was that I had lost myself. It had never dawned on me just how much I was walking on eggshells and doing things to please my spouse at the cost of my own happiness just because he was so high maintenance and I wanted to seem supportive and avoid a fight, which although never turned physically violent, would involve him throwing things. Finally, one night after being pushed too far, I stood up for myself and pushed back. When I did, I found myself.<br />
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Since then, I vowed to never lose myself again. Hence the image that relationships have taken on in my head: one of suffocation, sadness, stress, panic, utter sacrifice and loss of self. Is that really what love was? And if so, why the hell would I want it?<br />
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I have to admit, I took some comfort in knowing that my friend felt the same way I did. At least I wasn't alone. In fact, the more people I talked to, the more I discovered just how many people were viewing love and relationships the same way I did. When it all came down to it, one person was the giver (the nurturer), and the other is the receiver.<br />
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The funny thing is, after everything, I still believed in love. Not the impending doom image of love, but real, crazy about each other, best friends, soul mates, lovers, spend the rest of your life together and still snuggle on the couch watching movies, holding hands when you're old, respectful, reciprocal, trustworthy, smile when you think of them, doesn't make sense <i>love</i>. Which is why I have avoided relationships. In my heart, I don't want to be proven wrong.<br />
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I want to... no... I <i>need</i> to know that it exists. I am still a huge commitment-phobe and for the first time in years, I am dating, ironically another commitment-phobe who has been very patient with me. And while that could mean we're doomed, it may just mean that we understand each other enough to take down our walls long enough to let each other in, even if we don't let anyone else enter. Only time will tell. But I know one thing for certain - I believe I'm willing to redefine my idea of love and be open to it because I'm worthy of it and I deserve to be loved like that.<br />
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Someone once said, "Do what you've always done and you'll get what you've always got." Well, I don't like what I've gotten so far, so I'm going to give it a shot. Right now, all I can do is try. Because when it all comes down to it, I want to live in a world where there is true love.<br />
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Don't forget to check out my book Why Am I Still Single available in hardcover and Ebook/Kindle on Amazon.com <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Still-Single-Tough-Guide-Women-ebook/dp/B00II99C0Y/ref=la_B00LM092HY_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408543128&sr=1-4" target="_blank">Ebook link to Amazon</a> and at Barnes and Noble.com<br />
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<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-68307118632051241132014-08-11T15:19:00.002-04:002018-06-08T11:02:21.109-04:00Prince Charming - Guy #3 that is Keeping You Single<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As little girls most of us grew up watching movies showcasing a women in some sort of predicament in which she needed to be rescued by her very own Prince Charming, at which time the happy couple, usually knowing each other for a full 15 minutes, would consequently ride off into the sunset creating the perfect happily ever after storybook ending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Thanks, Disney</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This became the standard to which we measured all of our relationships. Somewhere in the recesses of our brain, it became ingrained that the steps to a successful relationship were as follows:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Step 1: Be lonely and miserable while somehow remaining cheery and optimistic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Step 2: Sing a song to (or with) animals or inanimate objects as they help you clean or get dressed <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Step 3: See Prince Charming and immediately know it is true love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Step 4: Wait for him to save you from your miserable life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Step 5: Live happily ever after.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Easy-peasy. End of story.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">OK, in retrospect maybe the whole bursting into song and singing to animals about our love lives should have been the first clue that Disney was full of crap. But we were kids. What the heck did we know? Then, as we got older, it seemed that many movies glorified the <i>damsel in distress</i> relationship scenario. Clearly, Hollywood knew something we didn’t. So all we had to do was happen upon this beautiful man and wait for him to come and rescue us from our humdrum lives, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unfortunately, what Disney (and for years, Hollywood) failed to show us was what happened after the happy couple rode off into the sunset together. We weren’t privy to the fights Cinderella and Prince Charming had about him getting falling down drunk and hitting on every maiden at the ball each night or that Prince Philip was crazy jealous and demanded Snow White stop socializing with the Seven Dwarfs. We didn’t feel Ariel’s pain realizing that she didn’t really need her voice back because Prince Eric never listens to her anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No instead we succumb to the fantasy that we would meet the love of our life and then everything would be perfect and easy. And while many women went on to realize that fairytales aren’t real, some of you are still holding out for that Prince Charming – the man that knows you perfectly without knowing you at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The hope of this imaginary perfection may lead to the dismissal of men that you meet but may not have that instant animalistic attraction. And if you do find someone and do feel that visceral connection, you may mistake that attraction for love at first sight. Often times, this causes a relationship built mainly on sex. The attraction is so strong that you tend to overlook other deal-breaking flaws. It is important to understand the difference between infatuation and love and never confuse the two. ( <i>See the previous blog titled: Mr. Kryptonite). </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Another reason Prince Charming poses a threat to your romantic life is the tendency to see him as the key to your happiness. Sometimes, when we get so wrapped up in the idea of love that we fool ourselves into thinking the only way we can ever be happy and complete is to find <i>the one</i>. I'm going to let you in on a huge relationship secret that so many people don’t know: If you aren’t happy with yourself when you're alone, you won’t be happy with someone in a relationship. In order to achieve happiness, you have to reach a level of self-acceptance and happiness with the person you are. If not, you will continue to look to someone else to fulfill that empty place inside and be disappointed when they don’t come through. After all, if you don’t know what makes you happy, how can they?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Once you reach a place where you are happy with yourself, you will be a better partner and companion. But even then relationships take work which leads us to the biggest of the Prince Charming Pitfalls - disappointment. Prince Charming has no flaws. He always does the right thing and never behaves contrary to what you expect. He is a classy, charismatic, chivalrous gentleman that is great with kids, has an amazing job, gets along with your family, and has the same morals and ideals as you do. He is always understanding, never cross or grumpy, and exists to make you happy. Prince Charming is placed on a pedestal and becomes this impossible ideal to which every man is measured. If a guy fails to stack up, it seems the only option is to end the relationship because, if the man was the <i>right</i> guy, he would be automatically in sync with your wants and needs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Real relationships are not so simple. People have conflicting opinions and different backgrounds. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is destined for failure. It is important to communicate your feelings and expectations from the beginning and give someone time to understand them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Listen, none of us come with a manual. The only way to learn is over time through trial and error. You have to give someone a chance. True that handsome guy on the bus may not embody everything you’ve ever imagined you’d end up with but have you ever stopped to think maybe you don’t possess all of the qualities his ideal woman does either. Maybe he thought he’d marry a bike riding, guitar wielding, 5’9” brunette covered in tattoos or a prim and proper southern bell that never uttered a curse word in her life. That doesn’t mean he can’t fall in love with a 5’4 red-head with a sailor’s mouth that has never ridden a bike in her life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Fairytales are fine as long as you take them for what they are – unrealistic fantasies. Real people have flaws. Nobody is perfect. No one can read your mind. That doesn’t mean you should close the door on the possibility of a relationship just because upon meeting a man, he doesn’t know the inner workings of your soul. Don't let a good guy with morals, that strives to be a better person, and tries to make you happy get away while you hold out for an imaginary Prince Charming that only exists in your dreams. Real trumps imaginary every time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">**Don’t forget to check out my book <i>Why Am I Still Single? A Tough Love Guide For Single Women</i> available on amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Still-Single-Tough-Guide-Women-ebook/dp/B00II99C0Y/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1407784538&sr=1-2&keywords=why+am+i+still+single" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ebook link</span></a></b></div>
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<a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/why-am-i-still-single-shay-stone/1113028622?ean=9780985590611" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hard cover link</span></a></div>
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Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4884176418782199722.post-17349381568084487062014-07-15T20:24:00.000-04:002018-06-08T11:46:12.500-04:00Dating 101 (Because clearly some of you need it)WHAT has happened to dating?<br />
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OK, I know I am veering off the series of my last few posts dealing with men that are keeping you single, but I have had an overwhelming amount of people (men and women) that have asked me the same question:<br />
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<i>WHAT</i> has happened to dating?<br />
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It seems since we have entered the age of cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, texting, and every other means of communication we have forgotten how to, well, <i>communicate</i>. It seems that no one knows how to date anymore. The days of a guy calling a girl, asking her out, taking her to dinner, and then calling for a follow-up date have been replaced by vague, "Wanna hang out?" texts.<br />
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W<i>hat does that even mean? Is it a date? Are we buds? Are you 12? Are we hanging out one on one or in a group? Are all of your friends going to be there? Should I invite mine? </i>The simple text leads to a myriad of questions and frustration, and rightfully so.<br />
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To help out my single guys and girls out there I have developed a set of dating guidelines:<br />
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<b>Rule #1: Ask her for her number, and then <i>call</i> her.</b><br />
Don't get it through a friend or hit her up on Facebook or whatever various form of social media is your favorite. Be an adult. If you can't do this, then you are too young and immature to date. Grow a set, call her, and if the conversation goes well, ask her out.<br />
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<b>Rule #2: Make it clear that you want to take her on a <i>date.</i></b><br />
Don't be vague and invite her to "hang out" or "kick it" (seriously, what are we kicking?) with you and your friends. Again, you are not a 12-year old. You're not asking her to go to the mall and walk around because you aren't old enough to drive. A date is not a marriage proposal. It is a <i>date.</i> Something designed for you to get to know someone. No contracts are being signed. No rings are being exchanged. Don't freak out or get all weird. If you meet someone and you like her, ask her out on an actual date.<br />
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<b>Rule #3: Be respectful.</b><br />
Don't wait until Thursday to ask her out on Friday. It implies that you were waiting for something better to come up before you decided to settle for spending time with her. It also implies that you think she has nothing better to do but sit around and wait for you to call at which time, she should drop everything to spend time with you. It is disrespectful and arrogant and starts the date off on a bad foot. If she drops everything to go out, it sets a precedent that you can always call her last minute. If she tells you she is busy, it makes you feel like maybe she isn't interested enough to go out with you. Do the right thing and ask her out giving at least 3 days notice.<br />
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<b>Rule #4: Have a plan.</b><br />
Don't call her or show up to pick her up without something in mind. Discuss a specific time and place. I always recommend having 2 or 3 ideas to choose from that you can present. Speak about it on the phone so she can dress appropriately. You don't want to show up in jeans and a t-shirt only to find her wearing a dress and heels. If you are going to do something outdoorsy, let her know. If you are taking her to a nice dinner followed by dancing, tell her. Whatever you do, make sure you take into account what she likes. Just because you are a hardcore baseball fan, doesn't mean she is. The first date should be about going somewhere that you both feel comfortable.<br />
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<b>Rule #5: No group dates unless there are extenuating circumstances.</b><br />
If possible, try not to make the first date a group date. Again, the first date should be about getting to know each other. If you go out in a group, your date may feel self-conscious, like they are being placed under a microscope. This may cause them to clam up. After all, she doesn't even know you yet. Now she has to dazzle your friends. Sure you may be comfortable and your pals may be warm and welcoming, but unless she gushed when you mentioned plans you had with a friend to go see a concert and happen to have an extra ticket available, make the first date a one on one thing. Or if you do decide to go out in a group, take her to grab a bite before (or after) with just the two of you.<br />
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<b>Rule #6: Dress to impress.</b><br />
Put some thought into the date and what you are wearing. Whether you are going to a 5-star restaurant or a football game, take pride in your appearance. I'm not saying you have to bust out a 3 piece suit, but show her that you cared enough about the date and seeing her to not just put on whatever wrinkled clothes you grabbed off the floor because they smelled the least offensive. Shower, wear deodorant, comb your hair, and look presentable for the date. That means no holey shirts or pants.<br />
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<b>Rule #7: Make the first date casual.</b><br />
Yes, it is great that you can afford to go to the fanciest restaurant in town, but if you start off with that, you kind of have nowhere to go but down. Plus many people behave differently when they are dressed up and in an environment where they are expected to act a certain way. If you want to get to know someone, you should do so in a relaxed atmosphere. That way you focus less on <i>where</i> you are and more on who you are with and what is being said.<br />
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<b>Rule #8: Touch base before the date.</b><br />
Look, it is awesome that you called her and made plans in advance, but just about every woman has that fear that she will get all dolled up, be sitting there waiting for you to pick her up (or meet her somewhere) and then, (<i>Gulp!</i>) you won't show. It's true. When it comes to first dates, our insecurities start to peek from the recesses of our brain. We get nervous and think, "<i>he's not going to show</i>" or "<i>what if he forgets?"</i><br />
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So if it is<i> </i>Monday and the date is on Friday, and you haven't talked or texted at all throughout the week, give her a quick call or shoot a little text the day before or the morning of that says something like," Looking forward to tomorrow (or tonight)." It calms the nerves and lets her know that you haven't completely forgotten about her. If you have spoken to her between the time you made the date and the actual date, this isn't necessary, but if you have had a crazy week or are just the type that doesn't like to talk much before a first date, touching base is a basic courtesy.<br />
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Look, things happen - grandmas die; bosses make you work late, people get sick. You don't know her so it would be very easy to get wrapped up in something and just blow her off. It's good to be certain everything is still a go. And if it's not a go for some reason or another, have the decency to let her know. Don't just stand her up. That's so <i>not</i> cool!<br />
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<b>Rules #9: Don't be text needy.</b><br />
Ladies, I know you are super excited about this handsome, funny, smart new guy you met. So far, he has done everything right. Don't screw it up by texting or calling him 500 times If you are texting him every day, you are already coming off as needy and insecure. If he hasn't talked or texted you since you made plans and you want to shoot him a text the night before or the day of just to confirm, that's fine, but keep it to a minimum. You don't need to tell him every thought that pops into your head. If you do, you'll scare him away.<br />
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Keep a little bit of mystery and give his mind time to wander, think about the date, and get excited about it. He can't do that if you won't leave him alone. And do NOT under any circumstances, friend request him on FB. Nothing says, "Crazy Stalker Chick" like friend requesting him right after you meet him. There is no need to comb through his page, friends list, and decipher every post with your friends before you even go on one date. Besides, you don't know him. For all you know he may be a serial killer. You don't need to give him free access to where you live, what school you went to, where you are and who you are with, or your daily routine just yet.<br />
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<b>Rule #10: No inappropriate texts.</b><br />
Men, do not, under any circumstances text her a picture of your junk. And do not ask her to send pictures of her boobs or anything else. Let's just go ahead and say that any parts that would be covered by a bathing suit are off limits. I can't believe I even need to say this, but unfortunately, I had a guy I just met send me a full frontal naked selfie of himself and have friends that have met guys that thought this was appropriate to do. It is not.<br />
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<b>Rule #11: Don't expect an immediate commitment.</b><br />
You had the best date. Seriously, people will probably make movies one day about how it was <i>the</i> perfect date. That's great. But now the date has been over for like an hour and you haven't heard from him. Now it's been a day... or two and you still haven't gotten a call or text. Or maybe you have and have even gone out on 2 or 3 more dates and they have been fantastic. Now you can't help but wonder, <i>is he seeing anyone else?</i> <i>Are you exclusive? Where is this going?</i><br />
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Before you go updating your relationship status, take a second and breathe. I get it. I'm not the kind of person that dates 5 guys at once. If I like a guy, I <i>like</i> him and am probably not seeing a handful of guys in addition to him. Still, there is no need to rush the whole relationship thing. Take the time to get to know someone. Go out with him a few times, meet his friends, see what he is all about before you decide this is the person you want to spend the next 2 months, 6 years, or the rest of your life with. Enjoy getting to know him.<br />
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Now, that said, he doesn't have the right to string you along forever. If you have gone out on 5 or 6 dates and you really <i>like</i> him, it is perfectly acceptable to ask what he is looking for before you let yourself get too attached. Is he looking for a relationship? A booty call? Or maybe he just got out of a toxic relationship and is just trying to get his dating feet wet. He doesn't have to commit to you right then, but it is a good idea to make sure you are on the same page before one of you gets too serious.<br />
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<b>Rule #12: 3rd date schmird date.</b><br />
Recently, one of my friends went on a few dates that were very promising. She called me before date number 3 and was extremely nervous. They had only kissed once but she was afraid the 3rd date meant that he would want to get intimate. While she really liked him, she wasn't sure how she felt, how he felt, or where they might be heading.<br />
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Whether it was conversations among friends or polls done in a magazine somehow, people got the idea that the 3rd date = sex. Sure that may be true for some people, but it's not true for everyone or every relationship. Sex shouldn't be based on the number of dates; it should be based on how you feel. So if the 3rd date comes, don't stress or feel pressured into doing something you aren't ready to do. And while sometimes sex can be just about 2 people together in the moment, if you really like someone, talk to them before you take it to that level. Is it just sex or do you expect to be exclusive after this? Are you the only one he is sleeping with? While it might not be sexy, discussing your expectations before you get down and dirty can help to keep things from getting ugly afterward.<br />
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<b>Rule #13: Don't expect him to pay.</b><br />
Yes, it would be lovely to be taken out and not have to pay, but this is not the 1950's. Back then, most girls (women) didn't work, so it was customary for the man to pay. But today, both sexes work, the cost of living is high, and, in most cases, the pay isn't offsetting the extra money we are putting out. So if you go out, offer to pay your half. If he accepts it, fine. If he declines, be gracious. If you are uncomfortable with not paying your share then let him get dinner and offer to pay for something else like snacks at the movies. But don't, under any circumstances, let him chintz out on the bill.<br />
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One of my friends had a guy ask her to dinner. After they finished eating and having drinks, the guy told her he didn't have any money and asked her to pay for the entire dinner. There is one word for this guy - <i>Mooch! </i>He knew before he asked her out that he didn't have any money, but instead of canceling, he decided to put her in an awkward position. He could have told her he was broke or picked something inexpensive to do, but he didn't. He just scammed her. If a guy can't at least pay <i>his </i>share, then he can't afford to date. <br />
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I hope these help clarify some of the expectations and guidelines for dating in the age of technology and social media. These should get you through the first few dates. After that, you are on your own.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">**Don't forget to check out my book Why Am I Still Single? A Tough Love Guide For Single women now available for Kindle and IPad at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com**</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b> Amazon book link<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Why-Am-Still-Single-Tough/dp/0985590610" target="_blank">Amazon Link to Why Am I Still Single?</a><br />
<br />Shayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330899081362077129noreply@blogger.com6