Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Anakin's 2 Days of Being Dognapped or as I Call It His "Spa Days"

Last weekend, some dognappers got more than they bargained for when they stole Anakin (a.k.a. Monkey Face) out of my yard.

It all started last Friday. I had gone out for a few hours. When I returned home, my 2 American Eskimos came flying up to the gate to greet me as always did. Anakin was no where to be found. Now that is not all that unusual. If Anakin is awake, he is right there with the other two, but if he is napping, well, it goes more like this:

Eyes open.What the hell are they barking at? I'm trying to take a nap here!
Is it a killer? No does not appear to be a killer. Appears to be Mom.
Big yawn, followed by some licking of his chops that suggests he ate something foul.
Does she want me to get up? I think she wants me to get up. I don't want to get up. But wait she might have cookies. Damn it! I better get up. Obligatory tail wag.

Anakin stuck in the cat house after chasing the cat.
(Luckily the cat got out)
This day was different though. I went through the gate and followed his lead line. Now I don't normally believe in lead lines, but after trying everything to keep him from escaping my 2 1/4 acres and almost watching him get hit three times, I had to settle on a lead line to keep him safe (even though the little shit can still get out of his harness! I should have named him Houdini!) 

Anyway, the lead line was unclipped and Anakin was gone. Now because it was unhooked, and because Anakin doesn't have opposable thumbs, I knew he had been taken. I started the mad hunt for him, putting up posters, contacting local vets and shelters, and in true "me" fashion, pulled up next to a cop that was in a hidden spot trying to bust people speeding and told him what happened and asked him to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious.

I have to be honest I did not think I would ever see my boy again.

Turns out I underestimated my little Jedi. Now I may never know what really happened but I think it went something like this:

Dognappers (after throwing food to my other dogs):"Oh, come here you poor thing. Did that mean lady tie you up?" (Anakin tries to kill them-he doesn't like people he doesn't know coming in our yard.) "Whoa! Hold on buddy we aren't going to hurt you. Here are some cookies" They then undo him from the lead line while he is distracted and take him.

Anakin: GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (Translation: Listen I appreciate the cookies and I dig the car ride, but you are NOT my mom.)

Dognappers: Here this is your new home.

Anakin: What? What are you talking about? What's going on? Where are my brothers? Where's mom? Wait...what's that? Hold that... Yes! Yes it is! CAT!!!!!!

Dognappers: No!

Anakin: No, really I got this...they squeak, let me show you. I just have to catch it. There it is! (Hurdles the couch, knocks over the Christmas tree, several plants, stops for a minute to pee on them, then resumes the chase which leads out the door through the screen into the rain where one of the dognappers heads off the cat who jumps up and claws the crap out of him followed by Anakin leaping after it, who knocks them over causing them to all fall into a pile of mud as the cat runs away.

Anakin (covered in mud, tongue hanging out panting): Did we get it?!?

Two nights later I looked out my gate and there he was standing there. His harness and lead line were removed and he was super white and fluffy and smelled like shampoo from the bath they had given him. I don't know if they let him out to go to the bathroom and he ran back home or if they waited until late at night and dropped him off at my gate. All I know is my little Monkey Face is home safe and he got a bath that I didn't have to pay for! WOO-HOO!

Anakin "Monkey Face" Happy to be home.
***Valentine's Day is coming up! Don't forget my book, Why Am I Still Single? is available on and Barnes& for all the single people out there. I will also be doing another give away on my Shay Stone Facebook Page :) ***


  1. Man if my dog was gone like that I would lose my mind and immediately become homicidal! So glad you got him back. It is kinda weird though.

    1. Yeah I was freaked out and I debated whether or not to put that he was stolen on the signs but then I decided to because I thought it might make the dognappers scared to let him outside and thinking someone would see him and maybe make them call me instead saying they found him, which I wouldn't have cared as long as I got him back. Turns out it didn't matter because first chance he got he ran back home to his momma:)

  2. Your dog sounds ninja. Yay for a happy ending to this story! I couldn't imagine if one of my kitties went missing

    1. Oh you have no idea. I had to put him on a lead line because I have a fenced in 2 1/4 acre yard and have chicken wire around that fence and he chews through the chicken wire! I can't get an electric fence because if he chews that he will get electrocuted. So I chose a lead line over a pen because he has more freedom to run (100 feet one way and 35 feet the other). The little Houdini has figured out that if he wraps the 35 ft one around the bush he can use it to pull his harness off over his head like a sweater! He is way too smart for his own good...or for my sanity!

  3. I'm following you. Found your blog by way of *Whatever's* blog. I love to laugh, so can't wait for your posts.

    1. Yay! Welcome to my blog :) I hope to keep you laughing. If you are bored one day, check out some of my posts from last years A-Z challenge (April). My W (Wilfred Brimley is Pissed post, M Monster in my Fridge post and Hell have no Fury like a Vagina Scorned post seemed to be well received :)

  4. Shay: I am your newest follower, coming from Gossip_Grl. I'm happy with my life. You can have my share of the zillions!

    I also invite you to follow my blog.

    1. Hey JJ! Welcome to my blog and I definitely will check your blog out too :) And I will take you up on sharing some of your zillions. I haven't even made my first zillion yet so I'm really behind!

  5. I'm glad your dog is back safe and sound. If that would have happened to my dog, she would need therapy. She gets depressed when her snack is late. :/ Also stopping by to tell ya thanks for doing the guest spot yesterday. :)

    1. Thank you! It was fun :)

      Anakin seems to be OK, although the first time he saw me filling up the bathtub after I got him back he high-tailed it into the other room!

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  7. Shay...I have nominated you for the Inspiring Blogger award. I know you get a lot of these, but I still wanted to give you a shout out from little ole me. I really enjoy your writing and all the laughs that come along with it. Should you choose to accept said award, a post entitled something like "I am Awesome" on my page will allow you to do so. If not, just know I am still pimping out your page as a nominated link. Keep on keepin on! Fluv your style.

    1. OMG! Thank you so much! No I am a total award junkie! I love to get them. Thanks again! You are awesome!!!!

  8. okay...i am NOT a stalker. well, maybe a little. I nominated you for another blog award called the Epically Awesome Blogger Award. The guidelines are pretty much the same as the other award I gave you last week...

    So, if you want it, it's yours! And PLS KNOW I only stalk you a TINY bit. Nothing weird. Unless you consider painting my body to match your interior walls and standing motionless in your bedroom so i can watch you sleep weird. But, c'mon! I would kind of have to think you are a little bit of a diva if you think THAT is weird. So, we're cool, right?

  9. We're totally cool! I mean who would think that was weird? Everyone does that, right? Thank you for the award :) If you keep giving them to me I will just send you my itinerary to make your stalking easier ;)

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