Friday, January 31, 2014

Epically Stupid Super Bowl Bet

Seahawks vs Broncos
(Go Broncos! for Kyle's sake)

It's that time of year again. The time we don our favorite jerseys, consume large amount of appetizers and alcohol, scream at the TV wondering why the quarterback can't see that he has a player completely wide open down field (I mean, dude, we can see him. He is right there with the camera focused on him. Are you freakin' blind?!?). And for some people, it is the time to make stupid bets.

Now, I am not talking about Floyd Mayweather's $10,000,000 (yep, that's MILL-ION) bet on the Bronco's. I mean come on, don't we all have a few million riding on the game? No, I would like to introduce you to a good ol' everyday Joe, named Kyle.

See Kyle, much like myself, grew up a 49ers fan. Except unlike me, Kyle completely lost his mind when Kaepernik choked and the 49ers failed to secure a Superbowl spot. Especially because the team that did clinch was his brother's favorite team, the Seahawks. Fed up with his brother's trash talk, Kyle went bat shit crazy and came up with a way to shut his brother's mouth for good.

Oh that's's on bitch.

Or at least that is what Kyle must have been thinking when he decided to bet the house. That's right...he bet the house.Apparently when Kyle's grandparents died they left he and his brother equal ownership in their house. So when they were deciding what Superbowl bet to make, Kyle decide to go big or go home...or not go home in this case.

Oh, did I forget to mention? Kyle lives in the house with his wife and 14 month old baby which, if the Broncos lose they will have to surrender ownership rights and move out of the house by March 1st. And surprise, surprise! -well at least Kyle was surprised by this, because apparently, Kyle is well, a dumb ass, his wife was not too happy about the bet.

Kyle said, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal." He went on to say that his brother had notoriously picked bad teams since they were kids and was just an irresponsible person in general so he believes the bet is a lock. 

Really, Dude? You bet a house without even consulting your wife and you have the balls to call your brother irresponsible? Dumb ass!

And yes, I am well aware that if the Broncos win, Mrs. Kyle will most likely come running back, a ticker tape parade will be thrown, and Kyle will forever refer to himself as "The Man"... that is at least until he does some other stupid thing like use the baby as collateral for an ill-advised cock fight.

So this Sunday, after you have mowed through a plate of nachos or chicken wings, watched the game, and prepare to go home and nurse your football hangover, just remember at least you have a home to go to... Kyle may not.

Dumb ass!

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