A-Z Challenge: A is for Askmen.com and Asses

So this is my first time participating in the A-Z Challenge. While I am excited to do it, I am also a little nervous because I never know what the hell may come out of my mouth. As of right now, I plan to tackle such hard-hitting, newsworthy topics as my drug addicted dog and lesbian torture chambers.

Today, I'd like to give a shout out to Askmen.com. They voted for the Top 99/ Most Desirable Women of 2012. Sadly, I did not make the list. I would get more into that, but the pain is too deep and I am still trying to recover. Anyway, the most desirable woman is (dadadada): Sophia Vergara.

Let me tell you why this makes me happy. I have an ass. Yes, that's right the secret is out. Since the time I was 8 years old, I have been teased about having a bubble butt. I don't mind. I'd rather have a bubble butt than suffer from Noassatall syndrome. This was never a big deal when I was growing up because the ideal size for women was thought to be a size 6. True, that is down from the 1950-60s size 10 or 12 that was viewed as ideal -think Marilyn or Mansfield - but it is still up from the size 0-2 that is considered sexy by women today.

I say considered sexy by women because if you notice women's magazines show what appear to be women that strongly resemble lollipops that look like all they had to eat was a Tic Tac they cut in half and shared. Seriously, I think most of them are lying down in the advertisements because they don't have the strength needed to hold up their heads.

Now if you pick up a men's magazine and check out the hotties, it is totally different. Men like curves which is illustrated by Kim Kardashian (even though she annoys the hell out of me) and  Scarlett Johansson cracking the top 10 and 39-year-old Sophia Vergara nabbing the top spot. (WOO-HOO!) Proof that women over 25 that aren't a size 2 still got it!

This all works for me because I am currently 37 and not a size 2, which, with my ass, I don't think it is physically possible for me to ever be. As a matter of fact, it was an inside joke with my ex-husband and his family who all referred to my butt as B.O.B. (Big Ol' Butt). That coupled with my preference of crab legs and creme' brule to half a Tic Tac makes it almost certain that I will never get below the once desirable size 6.

So once again to all of the people that voted at Askmen.com and chose the more voluptuous women, my ass thanks you. It is so appreciative that I am willing to overlook the offensive list of Most Desirable Women to Marry vs Most Desirable Women to Have for a Mistress. Although I have not checked those lists out yet, so if I have made either one of them, then I would like to retract my "offensive" comment and replace it with "wildly insightful and on target." B.O.B and I would be happy to pose for any pictures you may need.

Note: While looking for photos of skinny women, a website link came up and the sentence under it said: "If you have to eat, do it in front of people. They are teaching people how to be anorexic. SMH Bring on the curves and let's bring sexy back!