Now when I take a bath I don't just turn on the water, hop in, get clean and hop out. No, no. When I take a bath, it is an event. I'm talking scented candles, relaxing music (usually some old school R&B), bubbles or bath salts, and of course hot tea or a nice glass of wine to drink depending on my mood. It is an incredibly relaxing way to let the stress of the day melt away.
That is, of of course unless your cat decides to take a bath with you.
Allow me to set the scene: Everything is all set up. My water is at the perfect temperature, Sade is playing, my candles are aglow. The kids, and by kids I mean my 3 dogs and now 2 cats (everyone say hello to Sawyer, a kitty I recently found) are sound asleep. I get cozy, slink down into the tub and let out a big, long sigh, "Ahhhhhhhh."
After a minute or so I get that weird feeling that I'm being watched. I open up my eyes to see my 1 1/2 year old husky very upset, "What's wrong Monkey Face?"
|Anakin (aka "Monkey Face")|
"OOOOOOO OOOOOO oooooo Ooo HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR".
For those of you that aren't fluent in dog that translates to: "Mom, you're in there, I'm out here. I don't know what all of that stuff is around you but I kinda think I should drink it and that thing you brought home that looks a lot like my squeaky toy, but I get yelled at every time I try to make it squeak is way over there where I can't get to it. Plus it's been like two hours since I've had a cookie and it's all very upsetting."
I turn my head to see Sawyer has managed to jump up on the other side of the tub. The two are now staring at each other. I tell Anakin to go lay down. He ignores me.
"Anakin! Go lay down!" He does his hyper little puppy butt shuffle looks at me lets out a frustrated, "HARrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRuuuu." Then jumps up on the side of the tub and licks the water. This is enough to make Sawyer jump down and run away.
"ANAKIN, ya big perv! Go get your bone!"
"Don't do it," I say, eyes still closed.
He sticks his paw in the water and tests it to see if it will support him.
"Meorowwww..." (Translation: Mom, you think I could walk on this?)
"Meorowwwwwwww..." (But Mom, I'm super fast. I could totally walk on this)
"I understand meorowwww (you're super fast). But I'm telling you, don't do it."
He sticks his paw in the water again slipping a little bit further down this time. Stops. Shakes off his paw. Then does it again feeling more brazen. He looks up at me, "Meorowwwwwwwwwwwwww." (Oh Mom, I could SO do this!)
"Hfpfffffpffffff." (Translation: I think he could) Anakin has returned and is joining in on the conversation. He has placed his head on the tub and is staring at Sawyer who has gotten up and moved to another section of the tub where he and Anakin continue to stare at each other. I close my eyes and relax for the next 5 minutes.
I have made it through Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone and am well into Alicia Keys' I Keep Falling when a wave of water is thrust upon me.
Sawyer had fallen into the tub, freaked out and used my knees and head as a spring board. Anakin, who witnessed the whole thing thought, I should probably help and in an attempt to save the kitty, jumped halfway into the tub, decided, that sucked, and took off after the kitty but not before knocking the various bottles, candles, towel and tea into the bathtub leaving a trail of water and destruction behind him.
"WTH?!? SON OF A ...SAWYER!!! ANAKIN!!! OMG, SHUT THE HELL UP ALICIA!"
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