Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Friday, April 27, 2012

X is for the X Factor

I have determined that the letter "x" is stupid. I have racked my brain trying to come up with something clever and witty that begins with "x".

Yeah, no such word exists.

I tried xylophone. Nothing funny about that unless you bash someone you don't like in the head with it...then it's pretty cool.

Next I tried Xanadu. But there is nothing funny about Xanadu. It is a magical place where women (muses) skate around the earth in flowing white dresses inspiring men to achieve their goals and wildest dreams while occasionally bursting into song. You will be happy to know, by the end of the movie, Olivia Newton John's character, Kira (who rocks some sweet feathered hair and schmanzy '70's metallic geisha kimono, much like the one I wear when I get out of the shower) accomplishes her purpose by inspiring Sunny to open the adult disco skating rink he has always dreamed of owning.

Kira, the muse that inspired the
Disco Skating Rink

And come on, who hasn't spent their whole life dreaming about opening a skating rink for grown-ups? I know when I get together with my friends, they are always commenting on how there is no place for adults to go to skate and really let loose. The rinks around town are flooded with pre-teen and teenage kids that are too young to use fake IDs to get into bars (braces and acne are always dead giveaways to bouncers). If only there was a Sunny around today to open a place where you could drink, skate, fall down and break your neck while your friends point and laugh as they try to figure out who is going to face forward and who is going to skate backwards during the "Couples Only Skate."

Really hit the nail on the head-
Literally!
I contemplated blogging about X-rays. I remembered hearing something about a guy shooting himself in the head with a nail gun, so I googled it. OMG, people! I cannot believe the number of people that have "accidentally" shot themselves in the head with a nail gun, most of which, didn't even know they had done it. Seriously, how do you not know you just shot yourself in the head? Evidently they hadn't hit any part of the brain they actually used because in each incident the guy would carry on about his day, then end up in the emergency room the next day complaining of a pounding headache.

It doesn't hurt so much here or here.
It's more here.
OK, first, I can't help but notice it usually, no it always seems to be men that do this. Don't these things come with some safety mechanism like a helmet or at least a warning label that reads: DO NOT SHOOT SELF IN HEAD? You know someone brought it up and someone else said, "Come on! It's common sense. No one would be stupid enough to put a nail gun to his head and pull the trigger." Isn't there a minimum IQ you should have to have to operate one in case you have an accident. I mean, let's face it, some people cannot afford to lose any more brain cells.

Next I moved on to the XYZ Affair. I thought GREAT! I can finish my A-Z challenge in one shot. But it was all of this history/bribery/boring French crap and I don't speak French other than Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? And while that might get me laid, it won't make for an interesting post.

I know Xanax! Oh sorry, I didn't mean to write about Xanax. I meant to go take so I can stop stressing over this dumb letter. Yep Xanax will make it all better.

 Gotta say, when it comes to this letter I think I really nailed it;)

Stuntman balancing on nail.
Seriously, WTH? I can guarantee no woman
would try this.



27 comments:

  1. Ouch! At least I keep the nails in my feet.

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    1. Ooooo, probably not as bad as the nail in the head, but I would still avoid getting the in your feet too...pretty much keep nails out of your body altogether.

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  2. Did you forget the part about X-rays of objects being stuck in cavities? I used to work in a hospital... I know they exist. Corona with a lime anyone?

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    1. OH NO!!! I didn't even look up that one.The head/nail thing is enough;)

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  3. You definitely nailed it! Awesome post. :)

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  4. Bah, I was getting nervous; I was afraid you were going to list my 'X' word on here. Although, I am very ashamed of what I did for 'X' (which I haven't posted, yet).

    Hilarious post! I can't even balance on my head on solid ground with the help of my hands. That is ridiculous.

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    1. I don't understand how he balances and the nail doesn't go into his head!

      Oooo, and now I can't wait to read what you wrote. Is it X-rated;)

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  5. The issue with head injuries is that the brain actually has no pain receptors itself, so, no, it can't feel that it just got jabbed with a nail.

    You'd also think that you wouldn't need a warning label on hair dryers that read "do not use in the shower," but you do, and that's -all- because of women. Seriously, you're in the shower! You're trying to dry your hair while getting it wet at the same time?

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    1. I actually knew that about the brain. It's why you can be awake when they do brain surgery. That said, I was in a car accident, hit my head and got an enclosed head injury...and oh yeah, I felt it. What's up with that?


      Hey...it's not the shower...it's the bathtub. The shower would just be stupid. LOL

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  6. I had a very hard time with this evil letter as well...is this damn challenge over yet?? xD

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    1. Almost Meredith. We are thisclose. 2 more letters...some of the hardest in the alphabet, but then , hey, it's party time!

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  7. I went with X chromosome. Which clearly, in the case of the man on the nail, is defective. :)

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    1. Haha...you aren't kidding! Thank God this letter is done. I wrote about Xanadu for God's sake. And what's even worse is now I want to watch the movie.

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    2. For the love of chicken, DON'T DO IT!!! Go take some Xanax and lay down until the urge to watch goes away.

      Trust me. You'll love me for this later.

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  8. X was a difficult word. I wrote X-ray (and warning it's not funny. In fact, I think I've depressed folks with my memoir snippets). Your graphic at the top made me smile. Thanks.

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    1. I'm glad it made you smile. Usually my posts are more on the funny side. This one was a "OMG is this challenge almost over." LOL

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  9. I can't look at that last picture without cringing a bit. Or getting a headache. I think a lot of bloggers taking a part in this challenge were scratching their heads at how to approach the X word (while managing to use a word that actually started with X instead of cheating).

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    1. Yes, "x" is a stupid letter. I think we should have been allowed to use words that end with "x." Even letters that start w/"X" sound like they start with "Z".

      And yeah, that picture totally creeps me out.

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  10. Nice post! Kinda of all over the place and that fits in with my mindset tonight...and most every night.

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    1. Haha Thanks! It is in indicative of the way I went about coming with something for the letter. Like a bug hitting a windshield I was all over the place.

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  11. Xanax is the greatest. Years ago, I suffered from anxiety and was prescribed Xanax. I had quite the love affair with it. Then, my doctor ruined it all by informing me it was addictive. I stopped taking it and never looked back. I will always remember it fondly.

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    1. I have never taken it. My mom had a love affair with it too. I don't think she ever got over it. It was the one that got away;)

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  12. OK, isn't there still blood when you shoot a nail into your head (well not YOUR head), regardless of the absence of pain?!?! I never watched Xanadu...probably couldn't tear myself away from Grease, but now think I might have to check it out..cuz it sounds that fabulous!

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    1. See, you would think so. Or if you did shoot yourself in the head you would think it would hurt or stun you enough that you would at least TOUCH that spot.

      You SO have to watch Xanadu! There is roller skating, glowing people, and at one point, there is even a brief cartoon. When I was looking up pictures, I saw that it was nominated for a bunch of awards and I think it even won one.

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