Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Monday, April 23, 2012

T is for Toddlers and Tiaras

I swear, there should be a test given before you are allowed to have children...and maybe even sex because sometimes, it seems that only stupid people are breeding, and we already have enough of those in the world. As proof of my theory I would like to direct you to Toddlers and  Tiaras.

I'm too sexy for my age
too sexy for my age...
Or as I like to call it: Pimp My Daughter.

I have never watched this show. I have only seen clips and have been so appalled by the general idiocy of the whole thing that I figured, what a perfect subject for a blog that calls out stupid people!

In order to get a grasp on it I forced my self to watch some clips. And I mean literally forced my self as in I held a gun to my own head. About half way through the clips I seriously thought about pulling the trigger to end my misery. Then I realized, hey I'm not the one that needs to be shot; the mothers and fathers of these children are.

Doesn't everyone dream of their
daughter growing up to be a hooker?
Pageant Moms are crazy. The way you can tell they are crazy is because one of the things that every one of them seem to say at one point is, "I'm not crazy." Usually they are making this proclamation while they are convincing their daughters to permanently dye their blond eyelashes black, shellacking them with tanning spray, bleaching their teeth or having them dress up like hookers to perform on stage. And no, I am not talking about the usual Tammy Faye Baker inspired make-up and hair. No, I am referring to the mother that dressed her approximately 4 year old daughter like Julia Robert's character in pretty woman.

These parents will be the exact same parents that will be mystified when some pedophile targets their kid. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Pageant? This is Roman Polanski. I would like to cast your daughter in my next movie."

That is her obnoxious catch phrase.
It is quite obvious that these mothers, none of which are exactly lookers, are trying to live vicariously through there daughters. Maybe the mother takes pride in being told her daughter is beautiful because she feels the little girl must have gotten some of  her looks from her. Or maybe her own mother refused to let her play with dolls as a kid so she went out and created her own living breathing one that she could dress up and play with every day. Or maybe she is just nuts! Many of the mothers are shown walking around "playing" with the daughters' crown on their heads.It is also quite possible that she has looked at her daughter and realizes she has peaked and wants to get the kid some momentum from when she was considered pretty before those days are long gone. (Sorry, I know that sounds mean but some of those kids, well, I've seen roadkill that is cuter and has more personality!)


Mama's little angel

Yes, the children on these shows are the kind of kids that you would want to smack if you saw them in a restaurant. If you are at McDonald's, OK, you expect children to be running around like they just ate a pillowcase full of Halloween candy. But when you are at a restaurant like Applebee's or Ruth's Cris and you see a kid throwing a tantrum and running up and down the isle like a maniac, be honest, you have thought about tripping them as they run by. It's OK. Don't feel bad, we all have. Some of us may have even done it. Hey, don't look at me like that! I would never actually...alright I did, but just that once, well twice...alright I do it at every restaurant I go to.  Don't judge me!

I can't spell "cake" but I can show you
FIERCE!
Anyway, The T&T kids are absolute terrors, throwing tantrums when they don't get their ways and totally running their parents, who just look at them and talk about how cute they are. But they are not cute...they should be the poster children for birth control. I watched a clip where one little girl just stared at herself in the mirror, sticking her butt out and her, well, where she will have boobs someday, and making sexy, pouty faces at herself, totally oblivious to the 3 people that were screaming her name right behind her. I also saw a boy...yes, apparently he competes and draws his inspiration from RuPaul, was home-schooled yet still couldn't read the word "cake". He was at least 7! Apparently his teacher/mother was not the sharpest tool in the shed. Yet, the boy knew how to be fierce! Which is a good thing given that he was probably gay...or at least will be perceived that way when he prances around in his crown and sash should he ever actually win one of the pageants.

Her mom needs to be smacked!
I am just glad to see that these parents are focusing on what is important...outer beauty. They are teaching their kids that hey, you don't have to be smart or kind. That's for ugly people. You just need to smile and shake it like a porn star. Now come here honey because you are way to homely to win. Let me spray paint your face really quick and put this 9 pound wig on you.Where's your g-string we got from Victoria's Secret, princess? 

Note I said Victoria's Secret and Not Fredrick's of Hollywood. I mean only trashy toddlers shop there.

Ahhh, that's a good lesson for us all.


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29 comments:

  1. another brilliant post. i have to agree with you.reality television is over the top. shows like this contribute to what is wrong with the youth today. instead of being productive contributions to society, most kids just want to be paid for being "famous." with shows like this and others (16 and pregnant, jersey shore, teen mom, exc) it's no wonder!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes, you can thank the Hilton sisters for that. They are the ones that started his trend of being famous for being famous.

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  2. Funny post. Z is only six days away.

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    1. WOO-HOO! I know. (and some of the worst letters of the alphabet!:(

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  3. I completely agree! Those mothers are insane, no matter what they say.

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    1. Oh, they are out of there freakin' minds!

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  4. Have you seen Little Miss Sunshine?

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    Replies
    1. Yes! And I loved when they got up and danced with her:)

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  5. I can't even stand hearing the name of this show. I think South Park depicted this perfectly. Check out the movie 'Idiocracy' if you haven't already seen it. Also, watch the trailer to 'God Bless America.'

    Great post bashing this disgraceful show! There are certainly a lot of sick people out there.

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    1. I will check both of those out.

      Like I said, I think there should be a test people have to pass before they can have kids!

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  6. This show and dance mom's make me want to slap people!!

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    1. OMG! I want to beat the crap out of whoever that bitchy dance teacher is. She needs to be slapped...hard!

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  7. Reading this post reminded me of a French condom ad that shows a spoiled little boy throwing a tantrum in a store.

    And that poor kid in the top hat. If he can't read "cake," he probably has a diet that doesn't let him eat any, too.

    -Barb the French Bean

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hahaha!

      From what I saw, the kids got WHATEVER they wanted. They ran the parents.

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  8. My wife watches this show and I feel bad. This is the epitome of child abuse. How can this even be allowed by child services anywhere in the country? McKenzie and her nini and groupies she was signing autographs for before a show...seriously??? Flippers for better teeth, make up that would be considered whorish if it didn't involve kids. Reality TV has sunk to a new all time low...what's next?

    On the bright side thanks for stopping by my site for the A-Z. I have read several of your posts and think I'll follow along for a while.

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    1. No problem! Welcome to my blog:) I hope to keep you smiling.

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  9. I have never watched more than five minutes, honestly, I can't stomach it.

    But tiaras, now I personally think every GROWN woman should own at least one. Or six. For feeling glamorous while doing dishes, mowing the lawn or if she's really brazen, grocery shopping. :)

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    1. Oh, I totally agree with the tiara thing. I think tiaras should be mandatory for women...and drag queens;)

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  10. Is that the show where there was a mom giving her kid Mountain Dew to give her pep?
    I don't watch it. Don't want to.
    I wonder what the kids do on Halloween.

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    1. I believe so, Ruth. I think every day is Halloween to them. I watched a clip (bcuz I can't stomach the show) where one little girl made everyone call her by her alter ego ("Tootie" or something like that) and went by her normal name at school. She said it was like Hannaha Montana. She got angry though when she was at the pageant and someone called her by her "real" name.

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  11. Shay, my teenage daughters even got tired of it after a few shows. Why is it all the moms are fat?

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    1. I know, right? And not particularly attractive. It's like they want their daughters to be what they never were or feel they got cheated out of.

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  12. I've watched this show before. It was the little boy that got me. I was so intrigued by him. A sex change in his future. The mothers are the best part. You want to feel bad for the children, but it's impossible. Only once did I see an episode in which the child couldn't tell her mother she was against the pageants enough. Of course, the mother far from cared.

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    1. I saw one wear the mother wanted her daughter to get her blong eyelashes dyed black. The little girl didn't want to and repeatedly said "NO" until the mother dragged the father into it who told her he thought she should do it. So she agreed. Later she was in a video of just her and she said she didn't like them because they didn't look like her eyelashes anymore, but everyone wanted her to have it done and she wanted to make them happy. So sad :(

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  13. I'm like you, I can't even bring myself to watch it and not punch something, preferably one of the toddler mothers!
    great post!

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    1. I think it should be regarded as some sort of child abuse!LOL

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  14. Omg you have no idea what these parents did to their kid
    https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=389598887880166&id=100004901730096&set=a.105035363003188.9065.100004901730096&source=48&ref=m_notif&notif_t=like

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