Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Friday, April 13, 2012

L is for Life According to Alcohol

Stages of life by alcohol: 


Pre-21 - You know you shouldn't drink but you do anyway (Damn peer pressure). Get drunk off one wine cooler or some Boone's Farm or pretend that you like beer even though you don't yet. Make fun of the people that act like they are drunk when all you really gave them was orange juice and only told them there was Vodka in it but there wasn't. Eat mounds of McDonald's, Burger King or Taco Bell. No hangover.




Young Adult 21+ - Drink way too much, go home, sleep for 12 hours, wake up with no hangover then go out & do it again the next night.



Adult - Have a few drinks, go home, sleep, wake up with a slight hangover, maybe do a shot of what you were drinking the night before (if you can stomach it) to make hangover a little better; 


Adults in Early to Mid-thirties -  Take 2 Advil before you even go out the door. Have a drink or 2, go home, sleep, wake up after 2 hours, drink some Pedilyte, have a pretty decent size hangover, spend the next day taking Advil, drinking gatorade and laying around; 


Adults 35+ - Drive past a bar or THINK about going to one, have trouble sleeping, wake up with a major hangover, feel like someone hit you with a shovel, can't get off the couch all day. Reminisce about your youth.




Tom Petty once sang:


"I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old." - Last Dance with Mary Jane

Now it's too late for me, but to the rest of you out there, I guess the thing you should take away from this is don't stop drinking because the minute you do, it's all over



Gotta go throw up now because apparently now I can get a hangover from just writing about alcohol. So in the words of the great Chevy Chase, "Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?" 




*Remember, if this made you laugh or at least put a smile on your face, please click the the FB or Twitter share tab at the top of my blog. Spread the laughter. Everyone can use a smile. *

24 comments:

  1. You are one funny and creative lady. Yes this made me laugh because it is true. Thanks for visiting me yesterday. I feel you are a kindred spirit .
    dreamweaver

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    1. I loved your post yesterday and I feel bad for the people that have never felt that instant connection with someone.It is such a wonderful thing:)

      BTW, sorry my blog keeps posting small print. It keeps doing that after it posts at night, but when I view it before it posts, it looks fine. Think I fixed it.

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  2. I am under 35, but when it comes to drinking, my body isn't aware of this.

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    1. Believe it or not, that is actually better. You will always look younger and prettier because you don't (or can't) do that to your body. And besides that, it makes you a cheap drunk! Let other people spend $50 or $60 bucks to get buzzed while your feeling no pain w/ on $10;)

      BTW, sorry my blog keeps posting small print. It keeps doing that after it posts at night, but when I view it before it posts, it looks fine. Think I fixed it.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. I must still be in the 21+ years, with the 35+ hangovers!

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  5. I'm only 23, and I get monsterous hangovers. It will literally ruin my entire day and all the work I had planned out is most definitely not getting done.

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    1. OK,you didn't hear this from me (One bcuz I'm not a doctor and two because I don't want your mom or girlfriend getting pissed at me), BUT try Pedilyte. Get the unflavored version and mix it with something else. It helps with the dehydration that causes headaches, or so my friends have told me. I also put mu head under super cold water. It makes the blood vessels constrict and push the blood to other areas so it will help the headache. See not only is my blog funny, it's educational:)

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    2. BTW, sorry my blog keeps posting small print. It keeps doing that after it posts at night, but when I view it before it posts, it looks fine. Think I fixed it.

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  6. So true. Gone are the days of blissful drunkenness!

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    1. Amen! Good think is, at least now we are cheap drunks. One glass of wine and I am dancing on a table!

      BTW, sorry my blog keeps posting small print. It keeps doing that after it posts at night, but when I view it before it posts, it looks fine. Think I fixed it.

      Delete
  7. I'm so over 35! Ah, to be young again and get drunk on nothing more than orange juice...

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    1. Right?!? I just replied to another comment that I'm a cheap drunk. One glass of wine and I am dancing on a table.

      BTW, sorry my blog keeps posting small print. It keeps doing that after it posts at night, but when I view it before it posts, it looks fine. Think I fixed it.

      Delete
  8. I've never been drunk. Or even tipsy. Well, slightly tipsy once, but that's a long story and doesn't involve actual alcohol. Sort of.

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  9. Alcohol the times that I choose to forget if I could remember. Those were the days. I still drink an occasional glass of wine, not to get drunk.

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    1. I drink a glass of wine maybe once every month or two. I never was a big drinker, but now if I have a glass of wine, I feel it the next day. Sometimes I feel it if I just drink grape juice!

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  10. I'm in the 35+ catergory and after reading this post I feel as though I better go have a lie down...I feel woozy ;).

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    1. Don't forget to take the Advil! LOL Come back tomorrow. I will make you laugh. That'll help your woozieness (It's a word:)

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  11. I stick with beer. When I'm full, I've had enough.

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  12. What a handy little guide to alcohol. Now that I have the time to sit back and read some of your previous posts, those laughs keep on coming...this blog is a great pick-me-up!

    I've had wine coolers, shots, beer, wine and cocktails but a hangover is something that I hope to never experience in this lifetime.

    Cheers! Or shall I say....I'll drink to this post! LOL

    ~Nicole
    Blog: The Madlab Post
    @MadlabPost on Twitter

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    1. Wow, you are the lucky one! I hope you continue to avoid the hangovers:) They are NOT fun.

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  13. It's nice to see what I have to look forward to when I grow older. Haha!

    You have a great sense of humor. Keep up the great work and good luck during the second half of the A to Z Challenge.

    Sarah @ The Writer's Experiment

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    1. Thanks! Welcome to my blog!

      Good luck to you too:) The next letter means we are past the halfway point. WOO-HOO!

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