Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

A-Z Challenge: A is for Askmen.com and Asses

So this is my first time participating in the A-Z Challenge. While I am excited to do it, I am also a little nervous because I never know what the hell may come out of my mouth. As of right now, I plan to tackle such hard hitting, news worthy topics as my drug addicted dog and lesbian torture chambers.

Sophia Vergara's Maxim Cover
Photo by Brad Peele
Today, I'd like to give a shout out to Askmen.com. They voted for the Top 99/ Most Desirable Women of 2012. Sadly, I did not make the list. I would get more into that, but the pain is too deep and I am still trying to recover. Anyway, the most desirable woman is (dadadada): Sophia Vergara.

'80-90's Cindy Crawford
Pepsi Commercial
No copyright infringement intended
Let me tell you why this makes me happy. I have an ass. Yes, that's right the secret is out. Since the time I was 8 years old, I have been teased about having a bubble butt. I don't mind. I'd rather have a bubble butt than suffer from Noassatall syndrome. This was never a big deal when I was growing up because the ideal size for women was thought to be a size 6. True, that is down from the 1950-60s size 10 or 12 that was viewed as ideal -think Marilyn or Mansfield - but it is still up from the size 0-2 that is considered sexy by women today.


I say considered sexy by women because if you notice women's magazines show what appear to be women that strongly resemble lollipops that look like all they had to eat was a Tic Tac they cut in half and shared. Seriously, I think most of them are lying down in the advertisements because they don't have the strength needed to hold up their heads.

Now if you pick up a men's magazine and check out the hotties, it is totally different. Men like curves which is illustrated by Kim Kardashian (even though she annoys the hell out of me) and  Scarlett Johansson cracking the top 10 and 39 year old Sophia Vergara nabbing the top spot. (WOO-HOO!) Proof that women over 25 that aren't a size 2 still got it!

This all works for me because I am currently 37 and not a size 2, which, with my ass, I don't think it is physically possible for me to ever be. As a matter of fact, it was an inside joke with my ex-husband and his family who all referred to my butt as B.O.B. (Big Ol' Butt). That coupled with my preference of crab legs and creme' brulee to half a Tic Tac makes it almost certain that I will never get below the once desirable size 6.

So once again to all of the people that voted at Askmen.com and chose the more voluptuous women, my ass thanks you. It is so appreciative that I am willing to overlook the offensive list of Most Desirable Women to Marry vs Most Desirable Women to Have for a Mistress. Although I have not checked those lists out yet, so if I have made either one of them, then I would like to retract my "offensive" comment and replace it with "wildly insightful and on target." B.O.B and I would be happy to pose for any pictures you may need.

Note: While looking for photos of skinny women, a website link came up and the sentence under it said: "If you have to eat, do it in front of people. They are teaching people how to be anorexic. SMH Bring on the curves and let's bring sexy back!




34 comments:

  1. I am so with you. Curvy is sexy! Definitely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It always boggles my mind why women strive to be shaped like little boys. I think everyone should strive to be healthy - not anorexic and not obese. If men want people without hips and curves, then let them date other guys. There is nothing wrong with being skinny (healthy skinny), but there is nothing wrong with having curves either. With the exception of my ex-husband that was obsessed with anorexic women (I was not one), women tend to get more hung up and are meaner to each other about weight in an effort to make themselves feel better. Most guys are just so excited to see a naked woman, they don't care if she is a size 2 or 12. A naked chick that wants to have sex is a naked chick that wants to have sex..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Always have been, always will be an Ass Man.
    Give me curves and women that look like women.

    Been reading more of your posts here and I really like this blog! Plus I love the logo you have.

    Looking forward to seeing what you do all month!

    Tim
    The Other Side
    The Freedom of Nonbelief

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tim! Welcome to my blog. I'm glad you like it. It is a tough and time consuming job calling out the idiots of the world, but it is a cross I must bear:)

      I'm heading over to check out your blog now.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Not sure why the replies are crashing. But I have been reading more of your older posts and I am now really glad I am follower!

      Delete
    4. Awesome! I'm glad you are a follower too:)

      Delete
  4. Hi! I just found your blog through this challenge and being a curvy girl myself, I love this "A" post! :)

    Being the size of a fence post with your bones jutting out everywhere is definetly not sexy. I think more girls should look up to women like Christina Hendricks in the the size department, she is healthy but curvy and amazingly beautiful :).

    Good luck with the rest of the challenge! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooooo, love her. She is super sexy. I'm glad you like my first post. I t's funny, and I wrote this in a comment above:

      "With the exception of my ex-husband that was obsessed with anorexic women (I was not one), women tend to get more hung up and are meaner to each other about weight in an effort to make themselves feel better."

      I believe that to be true. Women are more apt to gossip about someone gaining weight or having cellulite. We need to embrace everyone's size and individuality. Who wants to look like everyone else. How boring world THAT be?

      Welcome to my blog. Heading over to check out your's too:)

      Delete
  5. Nice post and I agree. Many of the models today with the skeleton faces and ribs sticking out do not look like sex symbols when they look so sickly. :) Can't wait to read your postings in April

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Gossip Girl! Yes, every time I see a girl with her ribs sticking out like that I just want to go up and give her a hug and a hamburger;)

      Delete
  6. I love this post. I'm excited to see what the hell comes out of your mouth too.

    Check out my blog. I posted some kick ass shoes.

    www.prose-spective.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks! And welcome to my blog.

    It's funny because as soon as I clicked on the comment and my blog came up I saw the picture of the red heels under my followers and immediately thought, oooo, kick ass shoes! I'm heading over there right now:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I couldn't believe that Jennifer Anniston was voted #1. Sheesh, she's okay, I know, but numero uno?

    This skinny look is pitiful. It's virtually skin on a set of bones and that is far from sexy to me. Then again, I don't go to the other extreme, Mama Cass style.

    I used to subscribe to Sports Illustrated and get the 'Swimsuit' issue every year. These days it is more akin to soft porn starring anorexic gals. Sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sophia actually one this year. But regarding Anniston, don't know if you watched friends but in the beginning, she was nicely built with curves. By the end it was like someone please give her a cheeseburger!

      Again, I think the main goal is not to be anorexic or obese, but to be healthy. That's sexy in my book.

      Delete
  9. One day, just for fun, I looked at a BMI chart. It says I could lose another 40 pounds and still be considered normal weight. I would be so boney. Who writes those?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet you model scouts write those. They want girls that look like hangers because, let's be honest, most fashion houses design for models, anorexic women and the ladies that are rich, don't work, have personal chefs and have nothing to do but exercise all day.

      Delete
  10. I have two 15 year old daughters and I just thank whoever that they have absolutely no desire to look like the walking dead girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, first of all I have to say I love the Walking Dead. Second of all, yes, it is amazing that people actually strive to look like the zombies in it.

      Congrats on raising smart and self-confident daughters! My niece was 8 years old, boney as could be, and in ballet. One day her mom noticed she wasn't eating dinner. She asked her is she felt alright and why she wasn't eating. My 8 YEAR OLD niece told her she wasn't eating because her stomach stuck out in her leotard and she didn't want to look fat. After that, ballet was done and she would only allow her to watch TV shows like Sabrina The Teenage Witch and others where the girls were healthy,normal weights.

      Delete
  11. Call me weird, but I think an everyday woman who I can talk to in my everyday life is way hotter than a fake celebrity/supermodel/actress that I could talk to never-a-day in my life.

    They're just not real to me. If that makes sense.

    Except for Adriana Lima.

    I fancy her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't blame you. Adriana Lima is absolutely gorgeous! Although, she appears to have curves;)

      Delete
  12. awaiting for your sexy A
    do check out mine at GAC a-z

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great post! I also do not think that thin is sexy. I look forward to reading more from you.

    Stuart

    Lloyd of Gamebooks - virtualfantasies.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great! Glad you like it and welcome to my blog, Stuart:)

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Thanks! I am glad you like it:) I appreciate you coming by and hope you'll be a regular reader. Curvy girls unite!

      Delete
  15. Love, love, LOVE this post and your sense of humor. Seriously LOL'd several times while reading.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yay! I'm so glad you liked it. Sometimes I get scared people won't get my sense of humor. It's nice to know that people are getting it and don't think I'm just completely of my rocker! (Although to be honest, I kind of am;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. The older I get, the more I like women with curves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's good because the older we get, we can't help but to have them;)

      Delete
  18. Oh I have found a blog here, I have! A-Z - and A is about curvy women! Huzzah! I love me some curvy women - Kim Kardashian (though she annoys me too); Kat Dennings; Jennifer Coolidge; Adele...*sigh* Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Craig! Welcome aboard:) Yes, I imagine Kim Kardashian is one of those women that you have to look at and say, "Honey, don't talk. Just sit there and look pretty," because the moment she opens her mouth you have to be like, "OMG, shut up! I don't care about your sisters, or mom, or sham of a marriage or sex tape!"

      Delete
  19. A honest wheat-grass juicer also has extremely little to do with your family
    unit vita mixer maybe fruity juicer. Usually the conventional
    hardware certainly won't head on down . Various other that belong to the most common comforts certain machine is most likely the comfort the idea can give. Winter blizards is actually difficult along the electric motor, the actual see it tensing for you to ab crunch it down.

    Here is my weblog ... juicer fruit juice recipes

    ReplyDelete