Seriously - WTH?

Calling out the stupid...and boy is there a lot to call out.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Let's All Go to This! The Annual Tallapoosa Possum Drop

Every year most people tend to do the same thing for New Year's Eve: Get together with a bunch of friends, drink a little too much, or in some cases, a lot too much and end up making out with someone you would have never gone near sober, but being three sheets to the wind and wearing a really nice pair of beer goggles suddenly makes that Steve Buscemi troll look like Colin Farrell.

*Side Note: What is "three sheets to the wind"? Where does that expression even come from? Are we talking three sheets of paper or are we talking about bed sheets? Why three? Can you be two sheets to the wind? And what does the wind have to do with it?

Amount of sheets aside, this year I am considering doing something different. Very different. I give you the Annual Tallapoosa Possum Drop. Yes, Possum Drop.

Before I get into the possum drop, first I must tell you a little bit about Tallapoosa. The official city website boasts: "Travel to Tallapoosa for True Tales, Tasty Treats and Toe Tapping Tunes." Tallapoosa, GA is a small Southern town in an unspoiled rural setting nestled in the foothills of the N.W. GA Mountains.

Which of course is translation for Hillbilly Paradise. Don't miss main attractions include The RV Park and Bud Jones Taxidermy and Wildlife Museum. So you can imagine the excitement that the Annual Possum Drop generates around the town.

To fully understand the possum drop you must first be familiar with New Year's Rockin' Eve where an array of drunk New Yorkers and other people that have completely lost their minds, gather in the freezing cold huddling shoulder to shoulder in Times Square with no chance of escape to drink, watch the hottest music acts, eat traditional delicacies, be groped by fellow onlookers and countdown as a huge, beautiful, electronically illuminated Waterford Crystal ball moves down a poll for everyone to see.

The Tallapoosa Possum Drop is very similar to this except it usually isn't cold, the music includes Elvis impersonators and local bands with the main headliner being Rhubarb Jones, a former radio personality. Mouth watering treats include Subway and Chick-Fil-A and although it doesn't say so on the website, I am certain there is some type of bar-b-que roadkill available.

There is a Possum King and Queen. A title currently being held by Midge Baxley and Ken Barkley. And, while I have no idea how one is considered worthy enough to become possum King and Queen, I can only assume it has something to do with one person finding the possum and the other one stuffing it.

You are probably thinking that with such draws as Rhubarb (not the pie) and the crowning of the annual King and Queen, how could anything possibly top that? I would now like to introduce you to Spencer.

Spencer
Spencer is a stuffed, taxidermy possum that died of natural causes (the towns' people want to make sure that is known). On New Year's Eve, Spencer is encased in a large, twig like ball covered with Christmas lights. A pole is then shoved up his ass and he is hoisted high atop Tallapoosa's oldest building. OK, maybe the pole isn't exactly shoved up his ass, but the rest is true. One minute before midnight Spencer is slowly lowered down the pole as the residents begin the countdown which I believe goes something like this: Ten, eight, nine, semin, six, fi, four...

Breakout the moonshine!

In case you are worried that you won't be able to purchase any souvenir special enough to mark this grand event, you can have your picture taken with Spencer, himself.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to drive along the side of the road and look for a new Spencer if I want to stand a chance of being crowned next year's Possum Queen.

http://www.thepossumdrop.com/

6 comments:

  1. I love moonshine and possum! I thought I said that already but i don't see the comment.

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  2. Actually, you make the possum drop sound a helluva lot better than hanging out in New York. Better music than Britney Spears (or whatever lip-synching piece of crap you would like to insert), less chance of being pick-pocketed, they have moonshine, and no one with that stupid, hideous New York accent.

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  3. Barfly, I mean really who doesn't love some good bbq possum, some vittles and a refreshing glass of moonshine every now and then? Plus I believ possum is low in fat so it is a healthy choice as well. Win-Win! LOL

    Vernon- "Eh, Oh, Oh, eh..." I couldn't agree more. Plus teeth and shoes are optional so you don't have to spend the extra money on dress to impress clothes. they do require that you have a belt buckle with your name on it just in case you have too much moonshine and forget your name;)

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  4. I saw your comment over at SSS Porch Party and thought I'd stop by. It's nice to meet a fellow Irishman out here. I'm stateside for a few months due to my husbands illness, but going home for Christmas and home permanantly in June/July next year.

    This is a great post. Spencer looks gorgeous hanging there like that. The lights make that dead coat shine right up. Hope you're successful in your bid for Queen. Drive slow and close to the shoulder.

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  5. That is hilarious, unbelievable and disturbing all at once! WOW! Kind of like the Beverly Hillbillies meeting Dick Clark. Poor Spencer

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    1. I know, right? Part of me REALLY wants to go and the other part is terrified to my very core that I might meet the same fate as poor Spencer.

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